Revenge.

Hate.

You know how you do something when you are angry and you do it? That’s exactly what I did. I shouldn’t have said that I would be Emmanuel’s girlfriend, but I did. I’m just such a wrong person; no one is here for me. I’m so lonely, I feel so numb in this world. I just don’t really deserve to be here, I deserve to be burning in hell. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore; I don’t know what to do with love anymore. I don’t know what to do with life anymore. I have no one in Sydney, I may have a few but I manage to break everyone’s heart. I don’t really, actually want too. But I manage too, which makes my friends so apart from me. I can’t close this mouth of mine. Someone manages to get hurt all the time and I can’t help myself. So I honestly should just go die. I am just so wrong for this world.  My heart is shattering at so many things right now, for John, for a broken Emmanuel, for my friend, for my family, for myself.

I brought the blade yet again to my wrist as I slowly dragged it against my wrist. Blood started to squirt out. I brought it one step down as I slowly dragged the blade yet again across my wrist. It felt good to take the pain away from myself; it was the only thing stopping me from my problems. This takes my pain away. I used to cut way back and I decided to start again. I hate having looked down to for these cuts, but this is me. I let the blood trickle down my arm as I picked up my phone.

“Hello?” I mumbled into the microphone as I wiped the tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Look, I’m sorry. Just, just.” I continued as I didn’t want to continue the rest of what I was going to say.

“What’s wrong Brianna?” Emmanuel’s worried voice rang through my ears as I sighed loudly. Why can my mouth say all the wrong things, but not the right things?

“Emmanuel… I, don’t worry. Bye.” I spoke quickly as I shut the phone and placed it on the bench.

I just can’t do this, I don’t want to break yet another heart. I’m just going to go back to Melbourne, stuff the revenge shit, stuff John, stuff Emmanuel, and stuff everyone. I had a life back there with my family and friends and while I’m here we are drifting apart and I can’t lose those that mean so much to me for those in Sydney. I went over to a tissue box, wiped away the blood. I got dressed into a plain black t-shirt with dark wash jeans. And headed out. I jogged down the marble stairs as I got to the entrance; I opened the door and walked out. I headed left from the pavement.

“BRIANNA!” “BRIANNA!” …. “BRIANNA!”

I knew who that was… I fastened my pace down this empty street. Why does god do this to me? Do I have some freaking black magic spell done on me? I’m cursed for fuck sake! The people I don’t want to smash into, I do.

I felt a strong hand grasp my wrist as I was brought to their lips. I quickly pushed back.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I shouted as I wiped my lips disgustedly.

“Kissing you obviously, I love you!” His husky voice said bluntly.

Now these 3 words; I love you are very strong words. Coming from this person, I was quite shocked, really. I closed my eyes as I raged inwardly. I turned around and continued to walk down this quiet street. 

"Well?" He chuckled as he jogged behind me. I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms again my chest.

"Well, nothing." I smirked to myself as I watched his face scrunch. 

"I just said I loved you. Strong words, you should feel privileged." He complained as I laughed.

"Don't waste my time, please!" I growled, bringing my arms down. I put a strand of my hair behind my ear as I walked down the street. I heard his footsteps behind me, but honestly I couldn't be stuffed dealing with him.

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Who could that possibly be? Hmm..

I took so long to upload, but I was just really busy! Bleghhh..

Anyway, vote and comment! :) xx