LOCKDOWN

Chapter 25

"I think Dennis might miss you if you leave," I told her.

She looked at me from behind Dennis' large head with her eyebrows raised, "Just Dennis?" she smirked knowingly.

Any anger that had been dissipating inside me immediately returned in full force. "No," I shook my head, glaring at her. "You don't get to do that."

She looked taken aback at my sudden outburst. "Do what?"

"You don't get to make jokes at my expense when not even a day ago you told me you didn't have feelings for me!" I raised my voice, hearing it echo in the silence of the night.

Peyton huffed as she turned to face me, tucking her legs underneath her.

"I didn't say I don't have feelings for you, Zara!" she said, her tone exasperated.

"You may as well have!" I snapped back at her.

How could she possibly think that the conversation we had had in my bedroom could be construed any other way. She didn't admit to having feelings for me, therefore it was safe for me to assume that they didn't exist.

Peyton sat there silently, the moonlight casting through the window and reflecting her caramel brown eyes. If I wasn't so desperately angry with her, I'd have been desperately pulling her closer to me. I was still tempted to swallow my pride and morals, and just beg her to kiss me. But I didn't. She refused to give me answers, and I knew I deserved better.

"I don't even know why I bother with you," I sighed, standing up and walking towards the stairs. I heard her shuffle on the couch behind me, but she didn't say a word, she didn't stop me.

༻✧༺

I didn't remember falling asleep after throwing myself onto my bed and crying, once again, but what I do remember is the rude awakening I was greeted with as Peyton slammed my door open and stormed inside. I didn't have a chance to yell at her, to ask her what on earth she thought she was doing, or to tell her to get out of my room, because as soon as she sat down on my bed, she started talking.

"Look, I like you, okay?" she blurted out, sounding anxious. Her appearance was disheveled and she had bags under her eyes, as if she had gotten no sleep. "I just...I don't like labelling things. I've been burnt before and I haven't had feelings for anyone since, until now."

I nodded slowly, trying (but failing) to process the information she had just given me. Peyton Mitchell likes me. The Peyton Mitchell likes me! I couldn't wrap my head around it, and was sure that I looked spaced out as my brain grappled with the details.

"I..." I coughed, my voice still raspy from sleep, "Okay."

"Okay?" She cocked her head to the side, confused.

"Okay, we don't have to label anything," I reiterated.

Her shoulders dropped in relief as she let out a long breath. "Are — are you still angry at me?"

"No, I'm not," I reassured her with a small smile.

She nodded slowly, taking her bottom lip between her teeth as she inhaled deeply. "Can I kiss you?" she whispered, her eyes searching mine.

I reached out and touched her hand that was resting on my bed. My eyes never left hers as I nodded, sitting up to meet her half way. She leant in slowly, her free hand reaching up to cradle my jaw as our lips touched. It was just as perfect as I remembered it, and I sighed into her mouth as goosebumps erupted over my skin. I brought my free hand to her chest and gripped the soft fabric of her shirt, pulling her closer.

The kiss didn't go further than that - it was the closeness that I craved more than anything. I wasn't sure how I had gone four years avoiding her, when now I couldn't even go twenty four hours without craving her touch. The hands that were holding each other left the bed, and I tangled mine in her hair as she used hers to stroke up and down my back.

We pulled apart, smiling awkwardly at each other and pressing our foreheads together.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry for not telling you this yesterday. Feelings aren't really..." she paused, "my thing."

I could tell that admitting that was uncomfortable for her, and so I didn't push the conversation further. Instead of pressing for more information on who hurt her, when they hurt her, and how they hurt her, I just reassured her that I wasn't upset with her anymore.

"I understand," I said kindly. "You don't have to tell me anything else. I won't press you for answers unless you give me a reason to. Deal?"

"Deal," she smiled, leaving a firm kiss on my forehead before standing up and walking to my bedroom door.

"I've made breakfast if you want some," she said. "It's just eggs and bacon with toast. Come down when you're ready."

She disappeared out of my doorway and I heard her footsteps descend down the stairs to the kitchen. I took my time getting up out of bed, still processing what had just happened between Peyton and I. She had told me she likes me, we had kissed, and she had admitted something personal to me. I smiled to myself, realising that I was slowly but surely breaking down those walls that Peyton had built so high.

I couldn't help but let the anxiety creep in, though. I could hear Aspen's imaginary voice in my ear telling me to 'be careful' or 'she's just using you for sex', or something else that would make me doubt what Peyton and I had. I was scared to tell them, in fear of hearing those words — words of discouragement. I didn't want anything to come between the developing relationship we had, because it seemed that that was happening on its own.

༻✧༺

AUTHORS NOTE

Hey guys, I'm so sorry for the long wait between updates and I'm sorry this chapter isn't very long. My writers block has been intense lately and I've been dealing with a few things.

I know a lot of you want more chapters in Peyton's POV, I haven't done many chapters like that because I personally find that stories are much more interesting when you don't know one side of it. I love the drama, the uncertainty, and the shock factor, etc.

Hope you're all well and I am really grateful for your feedback! x