LOCKDOWN

Chapter 12

PEYTON'S POV

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"It fucking sucks, I can't stand her!"

My reply rolled off my tongue without a second thought, and it took me a moment to realise that my words weren't true at all. For years I had been talking badly about Zara that it just became second nature to me — as horrible as that sounds.

Laine's reply was drowned out by the door slamming loudly, and I looked to the window to see if it was open. Perhaps the wind had pushed the door closed. The window was shut, and I didn't need to ponder the reason much further as I heard footsteps storming away from my room.

"Fuck," I hissed. Zara had heard me.

"What?" Laine's annoying voice spoke.

"I have to go," I said quickly, standing up from the bed.

"But —" Laine began, but I hung up before she could continue.

I nervously made my way to Zara's room, absolutely dreading the impending conversation we were about to have. I knocked on her closed door and was greeted with silence.

"McMann?" I called, and I was ignored.

I opened the door and peeked my head around the corner. Seeing Zara curled up on her bed, her face pressed into her pillow.

"McMann," I repeated. Ignored again.

"Zara..."

Not once, in the four years I'd known her, had I ever spoken her name. The use of it must've shocked her as much as it shocked me, since she took her head off her pillow and looked up at me.

"Fuck off, Mitchell."

The use of my surname didn't go unnoticed. Since the lockdown began she had been calling me 'Peyton', something that she never used to do. It felt like a punch to the gut, especially since I'd just used her first name for the first time, but who was I to cast blame?

"I'm sorry, please let me explain," I asked, taking careful steps towards her bed.

"No explanation needed. I heard you loud and clear!" she snapped, her tone sharper than a knife stabbing through me.

I sat at the very end of her bed and watched as she stiffened slightly, my presence on her bed making her uncomfortable. I thought about moving, but I didn't. I wanted her to hear what I had to say, even if she told me to leave afterwards - I needed to explain.

"Look..." I sighed, "I'm just going to explain and if you want me to leave you alone after that then I will, okay?"

She didn't reply, and I took her silence as a wordless agreement. I took a deep breath and began to speak.

"I didn't mean what I said to Laine. If she'd asked me that same question four days ago it might've been true, but now...now I don't think of you like that. For the past four years I..." I faltered slightly, "I didn't like you, and I guess I just got used to talking shit around Laine and the other girls and it just slipped out without me thinking about it."

I could tell she was listening, even if she hadn't looked at me the entire time I had been speaking. Her shoulders had stilled and she had tilted her head slightly to the side left so she could hear me properly.