home town • ashton irwin ((currently on hold))

3. empty chest

"sof?"

ashton couldn't believe his eyes.

the same grey sweater; the same freckles; the same green eyes and soft pink lips; it was his sofia.

his heart rate was surely increasing to dangerous levels the longer they stayed staring at each other in the harsh white light that shone out from the emergency room to the dark night outside.

the breeze slipped past them, bringing a soft flush to sofia's face that had paled with shock, only making her look more like the rosey eighteen year old ashton had left behind all those years ago.

part of him wanted to reach out and touch her; to make sure she was real, but his entire body was frozen, rooted to the ground and stuck still in shock.

all he could do was stare.

sofia could feel her chest rising and falling to accommodate the painfully uneven breaths she was struggling to take in, her eyes not sure where to find rest as they flickered over ashton, back inside the hospital, back to ashton, into the night and finally, back to ashton.

he'd gotten taller.

his shoulders had grown broader and the curly hair that used to be confined behind a bandana now hung freely in soft waves around his face; partially obscuring the hazel eyes that had permanently burned themselves in sofia's memory.

they were fixed on her; filled with shock and the beginning of tears and sofia wanted to run forward and hug him but everything from the past three years was holding her back.

the hurt, the crying, the buried memories and t shirts stuffed in the back of her drawers; too painful to wear but too precious to discard. the photos that lived in a shoebox under her bed and the playlist that she hadn't listened to since they'd laid in his bed together and traced patterns on each other's backs.

it kept her where she stood; wanting nothing more than to feel the comfort of ashton's arms but at the same time being so terrified of the feeling.

"sof?" ashton could only repeat her name, still too shocked to find any other words except the name he'd avoided for three years.

"i-" sofia swallowed, realising how constricted her throat had become. "i didn't realise you were back."

her voice shook like a leaf in the wind and if ashton's heart wasn't broken the minute he saw the tears in her eyes, it sure was now.

"we played a show." ashton replied, taking the tiniest step closer to her. "were-were you working?"

"yeah." sofia nodded, her hands still trembling uncontrollably. "yeah i-i had a late shift."

"you did it." ashton whispered, more to himself than to sofia.

the sight of sofia, with her nurses uniform visible in her bag, struck ashton with the realisation that in those three years he'd been away, he'd missed so much. her graduation from nursing school; her first time trying on the uniform; her first shift - things he'd always just assumed he'd be around for.

sofia nodded, feeling her vision start to blur beyond recognition with tears; the shock wearing off and the enormity of their encounter finally hitting her.

"sof don't-don't cry." ashton pleaded, watching as a few, stray tears found their home painted across her cheeks.

sofia shook her head, ducking down to wipe her eyes with the cuff of her sweater, opening her lips to draw in a shaky breath.

"i didn't realise you were back." she repeated, her voice now thick with tears, bringing a few from ashton's eyes pouring down his face.

"sof come on-" ashton reached out to draw her away from the glass doors where their intimate moment could easily be spotted, maybe to draw her closer to him - ashton's own inability to navigate himself around the girl he loved; the girl he was still so in love with, broke his heart.