A pawn to Success

part 9

It was very contradictory how he clenched his jaw, but relaxed his hand. It almost looked like he was trying not to crush my hands. I looked at this weird gesture again, thinking how nice it felt.

"..." I heard him say something. I looked at him with a puzzled expression. Now I wasn't sure he said anything at all, it could be my imagination.

"Nothing, it's nothing, let's talk later." he sighed. I closed my eyes for a second, which turned into a short nap.

We arrived back at the hotel and Damian got out first.

I slowly followed his lead and got out of the car, only now realizing I still had no shoes on. My bare feet were freezing from touching the cold concrete ground as the cool, vicious wind was rushing by.

"Here." Damian knelt down as he pulled out the heels I had kicked off earlier.

"Or, I can carry you inside?" he asked me while putting them on for me, one by one. I shook my head in response. I didn't want to be carried by him. People would misunderstand, most importantly, I would misunderstand.

His hands were warming up the cold skin on my feet by touching them slightly. I was afraid if he'd touch me more, or give me any kind of affection, my soul would get the wrong impression and trust him allover again.

I needed to stay away from Damian Romano. That's the most logical decision I could make, yet for some reason my body was yearning for his affection. I wanted him to carry me, to hold me and reassure me that everything's gonna be fine. That he would protect me and never leave again.

I was losing it. The reality was facing the opposite way. Damian wasn't good for me, if he'd carry me, he'd let me fall eventually. If he'd reassure me everything's gonna be fine, he'd be lying and if he would say he'd protect me, he'd put me in even more danger and in the end leave me heartbroken. I wasn't dumb, maybe naive yes, but not dumb. 

Dropping my internal skeptical dialogue I looked up and realized he was waiting for me to get up.

"Come on, you need to get inside." why was he using such a soft voice?

"Isabelle, lean on my." he continued tormenting my soul. I tried walking without his support, but ended up needing it more. We eventually reached the room, even though the open blisters on my feet were killing me. Damian still didn't let go of me, as he set me on the bed and softly pushed me down.

"You need to sleep." he didn't need to tell me twice, because the moment my eyes left his face, they closed and I succumbed into a deep sleep. And maybe it was a dream, or maybe not, but I felt like someone was repeatedly caressing my hair.

"Shh, sleep, mia cara."

It felt nice.

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I woke up with my eyes closed, too tired to open them; but as I slowly opened them, I was still surrounded by darkness. It was the middle of the night.

Unfortunately I remembered everything that happened earlier, very clearly, as though it had happened just seconds ago.

"You're awake." Damian's voice came out of nowhere, making me jump slightly. 

"Y-yes. I don't think I can sleep anymore." I replied still not knowing where his voice was coming from.

"I don't think I can sleep at all." he uttered. I wasn't sure of it, but I started thinking he was laying besides me, instead of sitting or standing next to the bed. I reached towards the lamp that stood on the bedside table and switched it on.