The Orville Shorts: Vol. 2

Worth

(Cassius feels self-hatred after Kelly's breakup)

(Cassius's POV)

Voices echoed inside my head, as I stumbled to my quarters. I banged against the automatic door until it finally slid open. I staggered into the room, the door slid shut behind me. I reassured that the door clicked, self-locking. I stood silent. 

I slumped down the door, hitting the carpet like floor. Finally escaping from me, hot tears. Why do I do this?  Why can't I just be happy? why do I pick at things, to the point where I make things worse? Why can't I learn to shut up? Why do I always have to be the one who starts all the damn arguments?  I let out a strangled yell, thumping my fist on the floor. 

"What's wrong with you!?" I screamed at myself, now staggering upright. Dragging myself to the mirror in the nearby, neat bathroom. I placed my palms against the cold sink, just staring at myself. Of course at the wrong time, I had to start something with Kelly. Why? Why couldn't I just be normal?  

"I hate you!" I hissed into the mirror. "I hate you so damn much. Why do you always instigate everything! Why can't you just say what you really mean for once? WHY!? YOU'RE NOTHING! YOU HEAR ME!?" 

I kept staring at myself through the mirror, rage built up inside me. I could no longer take it. I punched the mirror hard as I could. It didn't shatter like they did in those "old Earth" flicks. Although, the pain from my knuckles stunned thoughts into me. 

"You hate being hurt." I smirked. "I'll show you." 

I stumbled back into the living room area, hatred binding me. As I saw my reflection in the mirror pieces, they began smirking. I wanted to scream from the ship's rooftop until my throat bled. I synthesized a pocket knife, I let out another enraged scream. I began carving on the near by table: I AM NOTHING!!

"You're nothing, you hear me?" I screamed again. "NOTHING! You never will be!" 

I shoved the pocket knife across the table. It knocked into a lone glass, which fell. It finally shattered on the floor. I grabbed a large piece. I dug it into the pads of my fingers. I smeared blood over the carving. 

"Nothing..." I muttered. "Nothing at all..."

(A/N: I know Cassius and Kelly ended on good terms on the show. I just wanted to write something where he felt some "self-hatred". Especially since he also got divorced from his wife cause he worked so much. I wanted to try to write something new. I really enjoyed Cassius on the show, wished they did more with him. He seemed interesting.)