18: Electricity and Panic

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We warm up with target practice. The sun beats down through the treetops and makes beads of sweat roll down my face. I don't know how Kakashi can bare it in that heavy ANBU uniform.

I walk up behind him and throw a kunai, flicking his off course mid-air. He sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets.

"So you specialize in genjutsu," he says, spinning a kunai around his finger before putting it in its holster pouch at his thigh. I nod and he continues, "So we'll work on something else. How are you for chakra control?"

I shrug, fumbling with a shuriken in my hand. "I'm more focused on weaponry and genjutsu," I declare, marching into the clearing and tossing my shuriken towards a target. It hits dead center and I smirk. 

"But you're a water style user," he throws one of his own shuriken and it knocks mine out of the target. I shoot him a frown.

I sigh and think about what to say. It's true, I can use water style but I've never practiced solely with water. My jutsus almost always incorporate lightning too but I can't exactly tell Kakashi that. It might spark his memory--it's not too often one comes across a storm style user. 

"Yeah, I use water style but I'm not very good at it," I mutter, willing the conversation to change. It doesn't. Instead, Kakashi narrows in on it. 

"Alright then. Let's start with forming chakra in your hand and infusing it with water. We can play around with it from there."

I form a perfect ball of chakra in my right hand, and it swirls and glows a bright blue. Next, I try to add the water but it makes the chakra fall apart.

Kakashi narrows his eyebrows and looks from me to my empty hand dripping with water from my failed jutsu. "I'm gonna be honest because I know you already don't like me. I don't know why Lord Third assigned you to the ANBU if you can't even execute your chakra nature."

Because he knows I can form a lightning infused ball of water, baka. I just can't reveal that.

I'm getting angry now by the fact that Kakashi is partially right. What kind of ANBU am I if I can't even perform a lone chakra nature? If the point of shinobi life is to continuously get stronger, I'm definitely falling short. As Mitsuki, at least. The girl who can only use water-style. 

I haven't felt the thrilling buzz of my lightning in almost a year. My fingers used to crave the release of electricity, but now they've seemed to forgotten what it feels like. 

"Let's work on it. I'm not that adept in water release myself, though I can execute some jutus that I've copied with my sharingan." Kakashi forms some quick hand signs and pulls water from the river, forming a wall. "Once your water-chakra ball can break through this wall, we can move on to the next step."

I nod, focusing in on my chakra. I form the ball of chakra again and try to remember what it feels like to infuse storm style without the lightning. Separating the two is like trying to pour the oil but not the water. They both move in tandem and want to pour at the same time.

I close my eyes, focusing harder. The familiar buzz of electricity returns to my fingers and fills me with excitement but I need to suppress it. Focus on the water, I think. Forget about the electricity, only draw from the water. 

The buzz is there, trying to seduce me. It makes the ends of my fingers tingle, reminding me of its electric power. I want more than anything to let it go--let it infuse in the ball of chakra with the water, creating a perfect ball of enhanced electricity. I must hold it back.

When I open my eyes, there's water swirling around in my palm, perfect encased in chakra. I smile and prepare to slam it into the wall of water Kakashi has made but I stop myself when I notice a tiny trickle of lightning pushing against the ball in my hand. 

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