Malicious

Scared?

Zach's point of view

The day he asked me out was probably the last time I ever saw him be that open with me. Even the day after, his entire demeanor changed completely. I'd spent the night at his house, and the next morning he was a different person. Back to being miserable.

Honestly at first, I'd thought he had just been high when he'd asked me. I figured he would break up with me when he was mad again. He would tell me it was a mistake. That he wasn't gay.

But he never did. Instead, after he had broken his alarm clock, argued with his mom, and thrown a book at his dad; he came back and laid down beside me again. I felt him wrap his arms around me tightly, but not so much that I couldn't breathe.

"Just 30 more minutes, baby. I'll take you home then, I promise." His voice was still tired, even though he'd been yelling.

"I don't have to go home that soon unless you have something to do. I can stay the week if you could put up with me that long."

He smirked at this, and I felt uneasy. I hadn't meant it to be amusing.

"You know what I really want, babe?" He asked, inching his face closer to mine. Our lips were almost touching.

"Hm?" I replied.

"For you to tell me how you can even look me in my eyes." I froze. Surely not. Surely he didn't know.

"Mal, what are you talking about??" My throat felt dry as I waited for him to answer.

He got up then, running his hands through his hair, "You fucked LeeRoy." I thought my heart stopped.

"I-" He cut me off.

"He texted you. I was curious and just looked at it. Didn't think you minded." He said, pulling my phone out of his drawer. "But I guess you do, huh?" I wasn't sure what exactly to do.

Silence.

"He said I was beautiful.." I said, quietly. "While you were off banging every girl that came your way."

I watched as Malachi bared his teeth, "I tell you you're beautiful!" He argued. But this meant nothing to me. It only made me angrier.

"Malachi, are you serious?!" I stood up, then and walked towards him. "I always wanted you. I was faithful, and you're the one that left. In fact, you yelled in my fucking face to have sex with someone else if I wanted to. So I had sex with someone who cared about me, compared to the countless days I let you fuck every girl in our city!" I poked his chest hard, my tears flowing faster, "I just want anyone to love me!" I yelled, hitting his chest as hard as I could. I found myself inconsolable. His arms were around me, but it wasn't to hurt me. He seemed scared for some reason.

Trembling.

"You can't love him back, Zachariah. You just can't. I need you to love me." His voice was deep in his chest, and it rang in my eardrums.

"But that's the problem..." I felt awful. Like everything inside of me that I'd bottled up was spewing out. "I just want to have a normal relationship with you.. I don't ever want to go home when I'm with you, but you don't care. You don't love me, and I really just don't think you can.." And with that, I was able to keep my mouth sealed.

Malachi pulled away to look at the floor, "Oh." He said quietly.

I backed away to sit on the bed again, "What are we doing, Malachi..?"

He looked up at me for just a moment and I was able to see the hurt in his eyes. And just as quick as it was there, it was gone and so was he.

Leaving me alone on what was sometimes our bed to think of the answer to my own question.

What the fuck was I doing.

Hiiii!
as you all know, my dad died, so it's been very hard to write this chapter
but here it is!