Today was my turn!

Why me?

I must remember my brother scout Antonio Alves Fernandes, who is very similar to me. First is to have a life full of activities and concerns. Second, Antonio, is now recovering because also went "down" and it was his head that tied him to a disease that he happily overcame.

Following the illness of this friend of mine, I began to feel the first fears, but the fact is that it was nothing more than moments of reflection in which, in reality, I did nothing. It was still accelerating and time was over 100% occupied.

On Christmas vacation, in 2018, one of the trips I usually take with Antonio, towards a phone call I received, my friend felt I was not well. I countered him insisting that I felt nothing of concern.

But the fact is, he insisted and took me to a doctor. Without realizing it, as an eraser sweeps my memory, I had difficulty answering simple "things" like the day, month or year, the name of my wife, my daughters, as also the place where I have been born.

Suddenly I enter a void, looking at the doctor with a worrying look. Then he did some tests that I don't even remember today. In the end, I will never forget the doctor's heavy gaze contrasted with a smile: "As a biochemistry student, you know that the most important organs we have are the brain and the spine". No doubt, the terrible depression was knocking on my door, but with a touch so soft that I didn't notice anything.

At first, I was terrified of what I heard. Neither blood pressure nor heartbeat gave any warning signal. All the evil was in the head, in the worries and in the lack of rest. It was urgent to cut with the main worries and some of the thousand activities that I had.

Curious the medicine didn't discover yet machines to detect and evaluate this illness.

The option was isolation and medication that motivated my spirit. And without a doubt, as time went by, the "white" memories disappeared, the voice stopped holding and I started to understand that it was actually not right. The thought itself flowed in another way, without fear, without fear.

The phone was also other object that was disconnected and saved in the drawer of a old closet. Also to forget. The company and talk was with the family.

Unfortunately, many people who live in modern societies, suffer the same. Strange, men and women in poor countries in Africa, Asia or South America don't have this problem. And the difficulties are, for a European point of view, very hard, indeed. So why this important difference? The mind is only hill in rich countries?

In fact, to be rich, with a theory of a wonderful life, are a virtual reality. In Portugal and Spain, in the sixties, poor families have around ten children and were happy as today are families in poor countries.

So the mind and the money must be in different ways. However in modern society this subject are, indeed, very close.

It is a pity, in fact.