Simon's P.O.V.
I woke suddenly, jolted awake by a violent nightmare that sent me stumbling to the bathroom, vomiting into the toilet. I groaned quietly as I sat back and wiped my chin, almost gagging at the disgusting taste and the burning in the back of my throat, but I was used to it. After everything I had been through, the nightmares and vomiting due to it occurred at least once a week, with no sign of abating. Sighing, I stumbled back to my bed and fell into it, but there was no way I was going to sleep now.
"Goddamn it." I muttered into my arm, picking up my phone. 5:02am. Fuck. "Might as well start the day."
No one else was up- at least I thought no one else was up- so I tiptoed down the stairs with the plan to make a cup of coffee and some toast or something because I just thrown everything up from dinner the night before and would start getting hungry if I didn't eat. Plus, I wanted to get rid of the awful taste in my mouth.
That's why it gave me a fucking heart attack when I turned the corner into the kitchen and saw Lachlan, shirtless, sitting on a barstool at the bench with his phone in hand and a cup of hot chocolate in the other. I jumped about a foot in the air. Lachlan turned to me, seemingly surprised that I was up.
"Oh! Hey Simon, I didn't realize you'd be up so early." I raised one eyebrow.
"I could say the same to you."
"It's like 2pm in Aussie, I'm wide awake. What're you doing up? Was it you I heard earlier upstairs?"
I panicked for a moment- had he heard me being sick? But he didn't seem concerned so I only nodded, flicking the switch to boil the jug. I then popped two pieces of toast into the toaster before sitting down again, across from Lachlan. He watched me silently.
"Are you okay Simon?" He tilted his head to the side. "I thought I heard someone running to the bathroom and being sick earlier, you're super pale. Are you sure you're okay?"
I went pale. Fuck, I didn't want to talk about it. I hadn't told anyone, ever, about what had happened to me that caused these horrific nightmares and made me sick on a weekly basis, and my body physically began shaking at the thought of it. I pressed my head into my hands and strained to keep my breathing even- shit, I was going to be sick again!
I barely made it to the sink before throwing up into it, this time only bile, and Lachlan gently rubbed my back and shoulders from behind, helping me sink to the floor. My whole body shook with the exertion. He handed me a glass of water and helped me drink it before finally sitting down beside me.
"Simon, what's going on?" He asked, voice trembling slightly. "Please, I'm worried about you. This isn't normal, do you have the flu or something?"
"No I- no, it's not that." I stuttered, struggling to find the words or even pull in air. Lachlan hugged me closer and even though everything in me was screaming to leave, I didn't have the emotional capacity to tell him about anything, I was just exhausted. I leaned against him and closed my eyes.
"What is it then? I want to help if I can, but I can't help if I don't know." His voice was soft, quiet, genuine. He really did care about me but I didn't know if I could say it out loud. "Please Si?"
"I- I don't know." I breathed. "I don't know if I can say it."
Lachlan's arms only tightened around me. He held me tight as I tried to steal myself to say the words that had been floating around in my head for almost a year-
"I was raped."
For a moment I felt like I was floating as all of the memories of that awful night came crashing back and once again I felt sick. I felt her hands on me, those awful words, the way she had made me feel guilty. And the way she had raped me. I had never told anyone for fear that no one would believe me- she was tiny compared to me but in my intoxicated state I had hardly even realised what was going on, let alone what she was doing to me.
That was what had been making me sick. It was the memory of her standing over me, pulling my clothes off, forcing me to perform acts I couldn't think of without wanting to be sick again. The violent nightmares woke me at least once a week after having had me back in her bedroom, alone and scared.
Lachlan was silent for a little while and for one horrific moment I thought everything I feared would come true- that he wouldn't believe me and I would be alone all over again. But Lachlan didn't react like that.
After a few moments he leaned over and wrapped me in a hug tighter than I had ever felt before, allowing me to bury my head into his chest. We sat there on the kitchen floor while both of us cried as I finally confessed the horrific details of what had happened to me almost a year ago, my body trembling so badly that Lachlan had to hold me still. His strong hands on me were nothing like hers and they comforted me, because I knew I was safe.
"You're so brave Simon." He whispered, cradling me. "So brave. I can't believe you've held onto that for so long."
We sat there until I sobbed myself out, eyes flickering as I verged on exhaustion. The confession had released so much emotion and weight from my shoulders but now I was flat out exhausted and now didn't have the energy to do anything. I obviously hadn't slept well the previous night.
"Do you want to go back to bed?" He asked quietly, wiping a tear off my cheek.
"I don't want to be alone." I breathed.
"Then I'll stay."
Lachlan helped me up the stairs with an arm around my waist and tucked me into bed like I was child, because climbing in beside me. I couldn't help but tense, an involuntary reaction, but the second Lachlan's arms tangled around me and he pulled me into his chest I relaxed. I breathed in his comforting smell, felt his strong touch, and closed my eyes. Lachlan whispered to me, voice soft.
"It'll be okay Si." He murmured. "Everything'll be okay."
"I know."
"Not right now, maybe, but soon." He whispered.
And once again, I repeated- "I know."
This time it was with a smile.
