On Thin Ice

41

"What the hell?"

"Yeah," Fox replied in an irritated tone. "So FYI, Landon might actually be in love with you."

Fox's eyes were narrowed as he looked straight ahead while the two of us crossed the street. Obviously, the thought of Landon being in love with me didn't sit well with him, not that I was thrilled by the idea either.

"I bet that's not true," I said, not entirely sure if I wanted to convince him or myself.

Fox dramatically rolled his neck to send me a sullen look that told me he thought I was being naive. Maybe I was, but I didn't want to think of that even being a possibility after Landon had started a fight with Fox. I couldn't even look at Fox's face without getting angry, the marks being reminders that Landon had hurt him because of me.

I looked down at my feet, a sick feeling in my stomach forcing guilt to cloud my thoughts. This was my fault. Fox had come out because he wanted to be with me and I wouldn't stay secret for him. That made him a target, all because I was too selfish to give him what he needed.

"Don't do that," Fox muttered as we stepped into the hotel and into the elevator.

"Do what?" I mumbled, raising my gaze to his as he stared at me with a serious expression.

"I can tell you're feeling guilty," he said. "So stop it."

I shook my head at him, looking back at my feet. "It's my fault, I—"

"Believe it or not, Elijah, but you can't carry the burden of every bad thing that happens," Fox cut me off, causing my gaze to go back to his. "You blame yourself for everything, even how other people treat you."

"If I never made you feel like you had to come out, this wouldn't have happened," I argued. The elevator doors opened, but neither of us moved.

"First of all, yes it would have," Fox shot back, slamming the button to close the doors. "Landon is an asshole and if he didn't know about me then he would have done it to you."

He continued just as I opened my mouth to speak.

"And second of all, you didn't make me feel like I had to come out," Fox said, his voice getting louder as he brought his face closer to mine. "You made me want to. There's a huge difference."

The elevator stopped at a floor, but Fox was quick to close the doors again and send us back to our floor before anyone else could get on.

"It sounds the same to me," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest as Fox sent me an annoyed look through narrowed eyes.

"It's not the same," he said, stepping closer to me and letting out a sigh. "It was a sudden decision, literally I decided to do it right then and there. It wasn't planned, it just felt right."

I glanced at him and saw that his expression had softened. His face was unreadable like it was the night on the lake, calm but impossible to read.

"I just looked at you while you were skating around on the lake, the sunset hit you so perfectly, you looked like you were glowing and your smile was wider than I had ever seen it," Fox continued in a smooth, low tone, tugging on my hand and uncrossing my arms. "You looked so happy and I was like 'Wow. I want to see him that happy all the time.'"

My breath hitched in my throat as I looked down at our connected hands.

"I wanted to kiss you so bad," Fox admitted with a chuckle, looking down at our hands with a faint smile. "And I was sick of only being able to do it in secret. I was sick of being afraid."

The elevator doors opened again and this time we walked out hand in hand.

"I'm glad you did," I said in a small voice. "Kiss me, I mean."