Party girl (Josh Richards)

12

I put on one of Josh's hoodies and his joggers then some vans. I opened the door then me and Emma started walking to another room. We sat and ate along with a bunch of other people, boys and girls. So this palace is for both boys and girls but their sleeping headquarters are on opposite sides of the buildings, just to let you know.

I sat with Emma then some other people named Rosie, Jacob, Maddie, Carson, and Ace. They all seemed really nice and have been really nice to me which I appreciate. After we ate we told Jacob, Carson, and Ace bye since we had to go to our side of the building. The showers was in a big bathroom with a bunch of little rooms for showers then toilets, then there was a bunch of sinks and mirrors.
I grabbed my shower stuff then walked with Emma, Rosie, and Maddie to the shower room. We each got in one of the little shower rooms and showered. Afterwards I put on Josh's shirt and some Nike Pro's, we went to the sinks and brushed our teeth, washed our faces, I dried my hair then put it in a messy bun.

We all grabbed our stuff and went our separate ways to our rooms. I went in and out my stuff to the side then laid in my bed and went to sleep. The next day I woke up and put on Josh's sweatshirt, leggings, and vans. I grabbed my makeup and hair stuff then went to the shower room where I saw the girls also getting ready. I put on light makeup then my hair in a messy bun with two strands out in the front. We all out our stuff up in our rooms then went to the dinning room where we met up with the boys. We all sat and ate some breakfast together then afterwards we went to this room where a bunch of people were just chilling and doing whatever. We sat there and talked for an hour until we had to separate for our gender group talks.

Me and the girls walked to this room where a bunch of girls were sitting in a circle and we joined them. The head lady said "Hello girls I am Lacy and we are here to talk about ourselves, what we feel deep inside, don't be afteaid to hold anything back because some people have probably done worse than you." We then went in a circle saying our names and why we're here, when it got to me I said "Hi I'm JJ, I am here because I was cutting and passed out and diagnosed with depression." We continued until everyone said that then Lacy said "That's good for today ladies, we will all meet up here everyday at 12 for this, and we will say more each day." Then we all got up and left, me and the girls bet the boys abck at the room we were before and we all just hung out.

At around 4 I heard someone say "JJ" I turned around and saw Josh. I hopped up and ran to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his torso as his wrapped around my waist. He slightly rocked us side to side ten he set me down and kissed me. It's been at least 24 hours since we last kissed, that was too long for me. After that I grabbed his and and said "Babe this is Emma, Rosie, Maddie, Jacob, Carson, and Ace, guys this is my boyfriend Josh." They all smiled and waved then I said "I'll see y'all tonight" they all nodded then me and Josh walked outside. We swung our hands back and forth as he said "How was your first day" I shrugged my shoulders and said "It was Okay I guess?" He sniffled then said "How are you feeling" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I guess I feel fine." He let out a stiffled breath through his nose then said "Well how'd you sleep" I looked around as I said "Good." He stopped walking and I looked at him, he grabbed both of my hands so we were now facing each other.

He looked me in my eyes and said "Are you okay" I was lost, I had no words. I couldn't speak and it was for no reason, I took a second to breath then said "I'm fine." I started walking off and he just followed me, holding my hand. We went inside and to my room he looked around and said "Next time I'm bringing you stuff to decorate." I slightly smiled then sat on my bed cross legged, he laid on my bed with his head in my lap. I played with his hair as I thought, or at least I thought it was only in my head.

I don't feel anything. I don't feel happiness, sadness, nothing. Is it because I'm here, why can't I feel anything, I just feel dead, maybe I'm better off dead.
I should have just died, why did they have to save me, they don't care about me, I need a razor.