Party girl (Josh Richards)

5

I sighed and said "Josh I can't do this right now." I looked into his eyes, eyes as blue as the ocean and I could drown in them. I got this weird feeling but I shook it off and he said "Well I want to talk about this." I put my head in my hands, Josh put his fingers under my chin so I was looking at him. We were staring into each other's eyes then he said "I want to talk about this right now." He put his hand on my upper thigh, every where he touched it sparked, like I've need that touch forever.

I pushed his hands off me and said "I can't" I hopped off the counter and ran upstairs. I went into my room and sat on my bed cross legged with my head in my hands. There was a soft knock then the girls walked in, they closed the door and sat on my bed. Addison sat next to me and said "What happened" I sighed and lifted my head then said "I hooked up with Josh the night of the party but I was to wasted to realize what I was doing, I'm a hoe I go from due to dude, but when he looked at me, touches me, speaks to me, it's like something I've been craving for." They all looked at me with smiles, I soon realized why they were smiling then I said "No I don't like him, I can't, that's not me." Avani then said "You can't resist your feelings" I scoffed and said "I have before and I will again."

And with that I got off the bed and went downstairs to the backyard. I sat under a tree and just looked at the view u til I had to get ready for that date with.....Matt, I think? I got up and went to my room to get ready, I put on a but of a revealing dressed ith heels then went downstairs. Matt had just gotten there so we got in his car and left. (A/N: not gonna write about how they're 'doing it' but italics are her thoughts while doing so)

The whole thing, it feels wrong. Even though I was wasted I still remember Josh's touch. The way his cold fingers touched my skin and sent shivers up my body. The way his soft lips felt on my skin, the way he held me as we kissed. How Everytime he looked at me and we locked eyes it felt like time stopped. But I don't like him....I can't..... The last time I truly liked someone, Loved someone, I was heartbroken. I put my guard up and never let anyone close to me and when they did I pushed them away. Kind of what I'm doing right now, Josh is a soft spot to me right now, some how he is. I can't let that happen, I can't let him hurt me. Or even worse, I hurt myself for letting him get close to me, I just can't.

(Skip to the next morning)

I once again slipped out the bed and gathered my things then left and went home. When I got home the boys were awake, I once again locked eyes with Josh. His Crystal blue ocean eyes, full of sadness, staring straight into mine at this very second. I got this sudden feeling of guilt, but pushed it away when I remembered my past. I went up to my room and showered then put on an oversized sweatshirt and leggings with vans. I put my hair into a low messy bun then went downstairs to the kitchen. I made myself some cereal then sat and ate, the whole time I could feel Josh's eyes on me. Like his gaze was burning into my skin, I took a deep breath in then released it and out my bowl in the sink. I went to another room upstairs and just stood in there for a moment.

Someone said "What you doing" I turned to see Josh standing against the door frame. I sighed and said "Just thinking" I walked over to a window and looked out of it. Josh walked over and stood behind me then said "You're avoiding me." I turned around and our faces were inches apart, I quietly said "No I'm not." He then sad "So just let it happen" he gently pushed me against the wall and out his hand on my cheek then kissed me. It was the most powerful thing on the earth, like if I let go I would die. But I had to, I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away a little. Then I said "I can't" he took a step back and said "You can't what" I slightly yelled "Let you get to me." And with that I walked around him and out of the room, tears were threating to leave my eyes.

I just breathed a little then grabbed my stuff and stormed out the house. I walked down the street not giving a crap about where I was going.

Josh POV
After JJ left I ran a hand through my hair in fustration.

I can't let you get to me

What did she mean? She can't let me get to her, I can see it in her eyes. Everytime she's around me she puts her guard up, like she's trying not to let something in. Trying not to let someone out, I don't know she won't tell me. I stormed out of the room and went downstairs, I grabbed my phone off the couch and stormed out of the house. I just walked not even caring where I was going until I saw her...............