Just Incomplete!!

Let it go with the flow...

It's been three weeks since I had a good look of his face, smile at him, heard his voice calling my name and laugh at his logic with logic actually absent in them. It's been three weeks since I smiled. School has started already and I am tired of acting that I am normal. The holidays have had a miserable end for me, I lost my first love to my best friend. Since the day I talked to 'bhondu', I realised that Saaransh and I were never meant to be.

I entered the coaching all messed up just to be more messed up when I faced Saaransh sitting straight to me with his pleading eyes, whom I ignored and sat among the other students of my batch. I turned out that sir had some urgent schedule so he made up a surprise test, to be invigilated by his younger brother who had just returned from his college, half an hour ago.

I looked down at my clothes and realised I was wearing a top revealing a little amount of cleavage and Caprese. I wish I could wear a hijab to cover that cleavage, borrowing it from a Muslim friend sitting beside me. He never tolerated revealing clothes, ever!!

I tried to focus on my test but I could feel him staring at me, something my mates had noticed by now too!

 I went inside to get some water. I was really thirsty with Delhi's heat drinking every bit of my strength. I opened the tap of the water filter to fill my glass with some water when I realised someone was behind me. I turned back to see the face I hadn't been talking to since weeks. After all that he had done to me, I had cried enough to keep avoiding him.

"At least talk to me once, just once, you're killing me like this, I know I am worst but this worst person's life becomes even worse without you", he said

" Again a cheesy line", I smirked. I feel really tired of this acting now.

"May you listen to me once?? just once??", he said while holding my hand.

I took my hand away from his to convey my anger and pain. talking to him on his face, maybe his voice is my only weakness. it wouldn't let me be angry, no matter how exhausting our relationship had become.

"I just wanted to say, I am sorry but I love you", he said melting away my only patience.

He started moving away outside when I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward me. I was leaning against the wall. Our lips met and wrestled for long. I could feel his hand under my t-shirt feeling my bareback while my hand holding him hard enough to never let him go, and never be someone else's.

I never tried to judge if it was right or wrong but if you ask me, I turned really selfish, really really selfish for my love. Any woman on earth may share everything she has but sharing one she loves. Even thought of it is exaggerating. I had spent nights crying and my heart had really understood that getting rid of this illogical stupid is really tough logic but seeing him with someone else was actually a knife striking the heart.

All I now knew was, I love him and he's my first love!!