Good Omens Oneshots

30 (IH + IB)

"What are you doing about Crowley and Aziraphale?" Dagon asked, and Beelzebub sighed; they hated hearing those names. For one reason, they hated almost everyone (apart from Gabriel of course) and especially their demons, and that included Crowley, for another, they were jealous of the freedom.

"What do you mean?" They asked.

"It's been a few months now and the demons will want to know your doing something about it."

"What exactly can I do? He's immune from holy water."

"Dunno, but you'd better be doing something or there'll be a riot probably." Dagon stated helpfully. Ugh, they were right. The demons could get very violent when they were annoyed or thought they weren't doing well enough... or felt like it.

"I'll set up a demon to spy on them, to see what they're up to." They said, pleased with themselves for coming up with something that good on the spot.

"Don't think you'll find a demon willing to do that." They said, which was annoying. There always had to be some sort of reason it wouldn't work didn't there? Typical.

"Fine then, I'll do it myzelf." They gave in, starting to buzz a bit at the annoyance. Then something came to them, they were having good ideas everywhere here! They could get Gabriel to do the same, because they were sure Heaven would want him to be doing something too. They grinned slightly without meaning to. "I'll go up there and start watching them tomorrow, now go." They told Dagon, all to smug with themselves by this point. Dagon just raised their eyebrow and left.

Without a second thought, Beelzebub miracled themselves to Gabriel's office, excited to tell him their idea. He was in the middle of a meeting with some random angel they didn't know, so they politely told them to fuck off.

"I had an idea" they told him eagerly.

"I was in the middle of a meeting, you can't just come here and tell angels to leave."

"Why not, I just did"

"You'll raise suspicions."

"No I won't, your angels are just as clueless and stupid as demons." Gabriel just rolled his eyes at that.

"What do you want then." He asked, showing a kinder expression this time. He could never stay angry at Beelzebub.

"I'm going to Earth to spy on Crowley and Aziraphale for a while to convince the rest of Hell I'm doing something." Gabriel raised his eyebrow, signalling they were interested, "you could meet me there and we could spend some time together while stalking them." Gabriel smiled admiringly, it was a good idea.

"That's a brilliant idea." He stated, making the fly smile at the praise. The demon vanished again, leaving Gabriel alone to try and find the angel that had left and explain what had just happened.

~a few days later; Day one~

Beelzebub exited Hell, and arrived at the top of the green tainted escalator. They waited there for a few minutes, gazing up to Heaven, waiting for Gabriel. Soon enough, they saw him appear, moving steadily down, with light shining wildly behind him. He looked very angelic, and Beelzebub just huffed at how he always had to show off.

"Hello Beelzebub." He said, trying to be casual and to pretend he didn't already know they would be there, and failing greatly. He just got a mumble 'hi' in response before they walked out together.

The first thing they did was find Aziraphale's library, they were there for a reason and they had to have something to say when they returned. They were only there together to enjoy being with each other. The library was old, and easy enough to find with some miracles and demonic intervention.