Instinct ↠ Liam Dunbar

| nineteen: epilogue

CHAPTER NULL
Epilogue
⠀⠀⠀⠀    

They say that good things come in waves; unpredictable and sometimes chaotic. And so, it was inevitable that Liam changed me for the better, because he was the one to rid me of the horrible things that have happened. He was one person, someone who had no say in my how my life would play out or even how it would end. But now, he walked into my life quite completely, and he and I were both changed into the one thing I would've never believed possible over a year ago. That night on the roof of the hospital could've gone either way; we could've both died, or maybe, he would be the only one to have been bitten. But I choose to believe that by coincidence, Scott - my brother - had saved us both, and along the way, Liam and I coincidentally became tethered together; attached like an anchor that balanced itself out between the bad and the good. And usually, it was almost always between the two, but no matter how hard or easy each would be, it didn't really matter, because Liam and I had no choice but to go through with it together. We wanted to go through with it together.

So yes, Liam had very much changed me, but he did it in such a way where I felt like I could be the person I was; who I always was, while at the same time he also made me feel like I needed to work to be a better person; to keep moving forwards no matter what came my way. He saved me from myself, really. He saved me from the constant reminder of Allison's death, and he managed to erase all thoughts of what my friends and I had been through. How he could do this, I was unsure of. But I was totally and utterly grateful for it.

It had been only a few days since the night in Mexico, the one of which I was reunited with Scott. As per usual, we never really live normal lives, so La Iglaesia was only added to the list of supernatural things to ruin my life. That night was brutal on my part, especially since I was so weak and hopeless then; so set on giving up that it was pathetic. I hated to know that I had done that, because I could've done so much more. I wanted to be like Allison then; brave. And I could've still been that, maybe not as great, but still good enough to help even myself. I guess now it didn't matter, but I still felt a pit of guilt in my stomach which would probably never leave, because I feel as though I've failed myself and my friends.

For a while, things at school were quite chaotic since Liam and I both needed to catch up in classes. We were doing okay though, and everyone else seemed to be doing well too. It would take a while to get back to normal; hopefully have a rest in all things supernatural - no matter how low those chances are. For now, I can only hope we're okay; pray that no one else gets hurt anymore.

Liam tells me "Everything will be different," and he likes to believe that no matter what we go through, we'll always have each other. I always find myself smiling at that, especially now that he and I really will have each other, since we're together and all.

To think back to everything we have done together in the past month scares me, because we're just a couple of fifteen year olds who're still having trouble with the full moon - I especially, now that I can no longer shift at will. I'll get through that though, because my friends give me faith; Liam gives me hope. The supernatural isn't the only problem I've been left to face with either, because now something new and more terrifying makes me question anything and anything about who I am.

Love.

I don't know whether or not to trust how I feel yet, especially not about Liam since we're still walking through a battlefield of our own. But I guess for now, I can only wait. There are many reasons for me to say "I love you" to him, but even when I add them all together, I feel as though I don't quite have enough to fathom how much he means to me. I guess we're still young and there's plenty of time to fall in love in the future, but there is no telling how and when Liam might suddenly slip away from me, and I could never want that, especially not after what he's done for me. Here I am going on and on about a boy of which suddenly changed my life as though it was a problem for me, when really, its all I could ever want. He is all I could ever need right now, so I know to do whatever it takes to keep him right by my side. All we can do now, is move forward; keep on going until we're one step further to being the teenagers we should have been.

I like to call it intuition. I take on life as the waves hit, and sometimes, I can never predict whether or not it will be good or bad. For now, I'll just let the world go on around me, I'll live a normal life and try to forget. With Liam, I know, it's possible to get my mind off of things for a while. He and I were together from the start; surviving, learning, protecting. There will be a whole lot of confusion, loss and pain; but pain is the best part. Pain is how you know that you care, and I most certainly care about Liam Dunbar.

And so, as they say, all good things must come to an end, but mine will go on for as long as I may need it to. There's only one form of pain that can sum up into a new meaning, and I've been living by it since I could remember. After all. . . pain is only instinct, and instinct is what makes us human.

══════════════════

THE END