The Accident

7 - Dear Diary

TW: Mentions of Rape and Suicide.

Colby
I'm not gonna lie, last night was amazing. This woman in front of me is incredible, her morning breath doesn't even bother me. I decide to put on some Netflix on the tv. It isn't long until Becks is asleep again. God I do love this woman. I silently climbed out of bed, when I felt something hard beneath my foot. It turned out to be a red leather book, I know I shouldn't have but I opened it and started reading. It didn't take long until I realised that this was Becky's diary.

May 11th 2015
Fuck. Today has been shit as always. I think I'm just gonna drink myself into oblivion tonight. I don't want to remember what Randy did to me. What Randy continues to do to me. I'm definitely gonna drink myself to death someday soon. Until then, fuck you x

I went further back in the book, I needed to see what Randy did to her. Fuck I'm a terrible person.

July 1st 2014
Being in the WWE is so surreal. One of the main roster super starts came to visit, he's called Randy. He seemed pretty nice and he payed for my food. Oh and also I've got a lowkey crush on one of my friends. His name is Colby Lopez, but I can't tell him. Don't wanna ruin our relationship. And from now on I'm gonna start signing off with Fuck you x

I think I went back a bit too far.

January 7th 2015
I haven't spoken to you in a while. I'm gonna explain why. So you know in my last entry I spoken about how a met a new superstar from the main roster. Well I wish I never did. He asked me out a few weeks after I met him, of course I said yes. I didn't take long for him to get nasty, he's hit me a couple times too. But today, today was the worse he's been. He came home and shouted at me. Then he um forced himself on me, no matter how many times I told him to stop. He wouldn't. Randy left me on the floor crying. He's locked the door so I can't leave. I've felt like shit ever since it started, I don't know if I should just end it all. It's hardly like anyone's gonna miss me. Randy will probably just find some other girl to hit and fuck whenever he wants. Colby has recently moved up to the main roster so I don't even have him to talk to. Once I've finished at the arena tomorrow I'm just gonna drink until I physically can't anymore. Hope my bruises aren't to bad.
Fuck you.

When did I start crying. I notice Becks start to stir so I throw the book back onto the ground and quickly wipe my face.

Becky
I just woke as the titles to the lion king were playing. I look over at Colby and he looks really sad.

"Colbs, you alright?"

"Yeah, well no not really."

"You wanna talk about it."

Colby notices that I'm trying pull myself over to him, so luckily for me he pulls me up so my head is resting on his chest.

"No, not really. I just want to lay here with you."

"Okay."

He seemed fine before I fell asleep.

Colby
I feel so terrible for Becks, I don't understand why she wouldn't have told me when she moved up to Raw. I suppose we all have different ways of coping. I can't help but feel like I need to read more of her diary. I know I know, I shouldn't be invading her privacy like this. God I'm a bad person.

*2 hours later*

Becks therapist is coming here in about ten minutes so I'll have time to read. As I suspected Becky asked me to go upstairs and listen to music or something. So I did, but I also read more.

February 21st 2015
I don't think that there has been a day of this month that Randy hasn't done something. He either hits me or you know does something worse. I locked my door one day and then Randy still managed to get to me. You may be wondering, why haven't I left? Because I can't, he'd do something unimaginable. I don't want to end up not being able to wrestle, because then my life will truly be over. I'm so scared. I hate it whenever I see him, I visibly tense up sometimes. I'm shit at covering bruises, Ash asked about them before but I lied. If I told anyone Randy said he'd kill me. One day I just might because I don't wanna live anymore...
Fuck you.

My heart is breaking, I wonder if Ash knows now. I wouldn't surprise me if she still didn't. I'm crying again, I feel so terrible for not helping Becky in some way. I should've asked to meet up more than I did. I should've invited her to my parties. I just feel like I could've done something. Even though I didn't know about any of this until this morning. I decide to read the most recent diary entry.

September 11th 2018
My life has just got worse. I've somehow managed to get some space from Randy. But now I can't walk. I have no fucking luck. Just everything that happens in my life is bad. I think I might go back to drinking after today. Randy came to the hospital while I was waiting for Colby and Ash to come back. He hit me, my entire fucking face is bruised for gods sake. I've got smaller bruises on my wrist too. As soon as I can I'm gonna drink. Yes me and Colby have kissed, which is good. But Randy is gonna kill him. Fuck fuck fuck. I can't deal with my emotions right now.
Fuck you.

I knew we shouldn't have left her alone that day. Some of this shit is my fault. I look up from the diary and see Becks. Oh shit, I never heard her come in.

"Fucking hell Colby, am I allowed to have privacy."

I could hear the hurt in her voice as she snatched the book out of my hand.

"Becks I'm"

"Sorry, Yeah course you are. If you find someone's diary you don't fucking read it Colby."

"I'm sorry Becks"

"Actually fuck you, why would you do this to me. How much have you read!"

I look down to my feet before practically whispering.

"All of it."

Becky
I'm pissed. He had no right and now he knows all my fucking past. I was gonna tell him when I was ready. Why the fuck can nobody I fall for be decent. I feel like I'm gonna cry or have a panic attack or both.

"Get out."

"Wha"

"I said GET OUT."

I'm trembling but he still hasn't moved.

"Colby please. Just go"

He keeps shaking his head. I go to wheel my chair out when Colby grabs it. I flinch I see regret in his eyes. I feel like I can't breathe. Look at what your doing to me Colby.

"I shouldn't have read it and I'm sorry. But none of it was your fault Becks."

"Yes it was. Colby you don't know the half of it okay."

"Then tell me."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I can't. Surely you should be able to understand that. I've had fucking hell Colby."

"I'm sorry."

"Fuck Colby. I just want some alone time yeah."

"Okay."

Once he left I wheeled my chair over to the other side of the bed, where the diary was laying.

September 13th 2018
Fuck, Colby knows everything. I wasn't gonna tell him, I wasn't ready. I can't help but feel that he's gonna do something that just makes everything worse. I'm still crying and shaking so sorry if my hand writing is a bit shit. I feel like I can't write in here anymore. I just want my mam right now. She isn't coming for another week. Actually I want Ash, she's the only other person that knows. I never want to see Randy again, but knowing my luck he'll find a way to hurt me worse than ever before. I'm feeling terrified right now, but wouldn't you. I just want a way out of this all. I think NXT Becky has taken over and I want it all to stop. My wrestling career is over so now I have nothing to look forward to but a bottle of vodka.
Fuck you.