Being Butch Green || ✓

Chapter 34 - Joe's Incredibly Reluctant Llama's

"That's a really shit explanation," I burst out.

He pointed a finger at me in thought. "You're not wrong there, buddy."

Constance rolled her eyes, shifting her body towards the open door. She hopped out of the car, pushing Joe in his trolley of cheese out of the way. "We need to get moving."

"But we just met!" Joe exclaimed, throwing his arms open and smiling. "You can't be leaving me already?"

"We don't trust you and," Hailey stated, scanning him and his llamas, "...that."

She got out of the car like a mouse as Henry sighed and followed suit. "You're not wrong there."

They left me sitting awkwardly in the car - again - as they pushed through the crowd of jittery brown llamas. I stared gracelessly, wondering if I could trust him and whether I really wanted to know the answers to the burning questions I had. He noticed me staring and grinned, waiting for me to say something or maybe to help him out of his trolley. I really couldn't tell which one it was.

"Cheese?" he grinned after a while.

"What happened?"

"I um – me llamas got out," he concluded in an unsure tone.

I nodded. "Okay."

I couldn't think of anything else to say, he'd just created so many more questions. Like why were the llamas let out? Or why were they chasing him? And what about the cheese?

He sat there, totally relaxed, sitting on his pile of cheese with a dozen llamas looking like they were in love with him. They jostled, nibbling gently on anything they could find until he reached over and patted their heads contently.

Stiffly, he sat himself up straighter in his cart, pushing a llama head out of his lap. It spat aggressively on him, green saliva splattering like a paint bomb on the side of his face. He shrivelled up like a prune, wiping the gunk away.

"Gross!" he remarked, half falling out of his trolley and somehow landing on his feet.

He began to walk towards my group of stragglers, pushing his cart half-heartedly as we went. The llamas set about humming as they bustled around him like a strange protective net. Sighing, I climbed out of the front seat, slinging the backpack containing the file over my shoulder. This couldn't get any weirder, that's for sure.

I jogged after them.

"So," Joe was saying as I reached the group. "I need some help penning these bastards."

"We're not experienced in herding anything," Hailey retorted.

"I don't need experienced people," Joe articulated, "Just people."

I thought about it for a moment. Joe seemed genuine. The more we stayed on the road, the shorter the time between us and the Galgort agents became. "Look, let's just go," I said, a little anxiously.

"Why?" Constance asked.

I gave them a look, but no one caught on. "If they find us..." I urged, "out on the road..."

Henry nodded, speaking quickly. "Good point. Fine, we'll go to your farm. Where is it?"

Joe beamed. "Brilliant! It's just up the road a little."

We nodded in agreeance, letting Joe push his trolley past us, the herd of llamas following eagerly.

When Joe said his farm was just up the road, he literally meant it was up the road. We hadn't walked more than sixty paces before we disappeared off the road and down a long and windy driveway. Surrounded by trees, we emerged into the little cottage and garden that Joe called his home. I watched him stroll straight for a pen where the llamas were supposed to be happily grazing in utter doubt.