Being Butch Green || ✓

Chapter 15 - Demonised Disney Princesses

To me, this situation seemed perfectly logical. Like cheese and ham. But to anyone else, the sight of a middle-aged man dressed in a pirate's costume, pink flowers braided into his beard, and a squirrel on his shoulder, riding a mobility scooter with his pirated teenage companion, must have been beyond their normal thinking processes.

"Can't this thing go any faster?" I shouted over Henry's shoulder.

He glanced back at me and squinted towards the footpath. "Is that...?"

"Is that who?" I glanced back, my eyes widening. Chasing after us was a very distressed Jack. He sprinted in a mad frenzy that swayed from one side of the footpath to the other like a kid on a bike. "Henry!"

"On it!"

He revved up the engine. I stared at Jack, worry etched on my face, then jolted forward as the scooter came to a sudden halt, a long shadow stood towering over us.

Like two scared girl scouts, we both looked up, terror etched into our faces as we braced for impact. A very angry woman glared down at us, smoke fuming from her nostrils. She was a Karen.

"You're late!" She checked her watch. "BY AN HOUR!"

We shrivelled like prunes behind the handlebars as she leaned over us, a small amount of spit landing on my cheek. In disgust, I wiped it off with the back of my sleeve, trying to keep composed. What could this woman possibly want with us?

"And I ordered a fairy princess! Not two fucking pirates!" she screeched, throwing her hands in the air like this was somehow all our fault. Her gaze moved slowly over us as she then observed the creature sitting on Henry's shoulder. "What the fuck is that thing?"

I glanced at Henry, his face falling a pale white as he hid his mouth. "This is Jerry," he said quietly, stroking the little creature affectionately.

I cleared my throat. "Well, we're actually on our way to another party right now. Care to move?"

She glared at me like I was an evil spirit that needed to be banished with her scented candles. "Get inside! Both of you!"

"We don't have time to play games!" I argued, checking over my shoulder at a growing Jack. He was advancing quickly, and if we didn't go in the next five seconds, I'd be a lump of pounded meat.

"Well, neither do I!"

She placed her hands firmly on her hips, letting the spit fly from her mouth. Cocking his head to the side, Henry slowly scooted the mobility scooter to the side of the pavement, parked it and stood up. I rolled my eyes. This couldn't get any worse.

"We don't have time for this!" I protested, waving my hand at Jack who was now so close I could hear him yelling profanities at me.

"I will not be threatened," Henry squeaked, taking a step towards the woman.

"Oh, yes! Yes, you will, mister!" she stated strongly, pointing her finger between us. "I have an angry mob of princesses and I've run out of fairy bread!"

"Who fucking cares about fairy bread!?" I yelled, throwing my arms up in the air.

Henry grabbed my arm, pulling me in close to him. "If you want to stay alive, kid, you better shut the hell up and get in that party. It might be our only way out."

Goddamn it! I glared at Henry who nodded back. I was after all trusting him with my life - and the file's life for that matter. It was vital both of us stayed alive. I smiled at the Karen as she thrust her beaded hand out at me and grabbed me by the scuff of my costume, lifting me up off the ground. She squeezed her hand tightly around my collar, creasing it.