The Difference Between Getting and Needing

f o r t y - t w o

She finished rinsing off the last pan in the pile of dirty dishes, then gave it to me to dry. I felt her watching my every move as I wiped the skillet, and the way she was studying me made me think I was doing something wrong.

Did she not want me to use this towel? Were we not getting along like I thought we were?

While a million questions about things I could've done wrong ran through my head, I set the pan aside after I made sure there wasn't a single drop of water left on it. She spoke up before I could even gather my thoughts.

"He really looks up to his father," she mused, leaning a hip against the countertop and looking at the floor. It was random as hell and I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded. "He wants to be just like him and he is in a lot of ways, but he's still like me. He cares even if he tries not to show it. He's nosy and dramatic. He's fussy. He's got a hell of a heart, though."

"He does," I agreed because with every day we spent together, I was slowly starting to learn all of that about Gus. I was slowly starting to really, really like it.

"He's like me but he'll never admit it. I think that's why we never see eye to eye. We're like oil and water. He and his father... they may as well be one and the same."

She was losing me. Was this the protocol whenever you met a boy's parents?

Her eyes jumped up and found my own widened clueless gaze. As low as her voice would go, she said, "I'm telling you all of this because I want you to know that as much as Gus is like his father, he is not his father. I love my husband but I don't want Gus to become his clone. You're both so young, you have a real chance to grow and make this relationship the best thing that's ever happened." She must have sensed my unease because she reached out to grab one of my hands, so I let her take it. "I'm not trying to scare you because I like you, Bayla. I'd love to see a lot more of you in my son's life, but I know how he can be. He's a great kid; he's just gotta get out of his head."

"I know he is," I admitted softly. "I appreciate what you said. I like your whole family, and I'd really like to be in Gus' life for as long as he'll let me."

A grin touched her lips now. "I don't wanna jinx anything, but I think that could be for quite a while."

Something changed then. She wasn't just Gus' mom anymore. She was someone I could confide in about anything at any time without feeling an ounce of judgment. She was a guardian angel in disguise.

She was the reason why, when I turned to see Gus enter the kitchen totally unaware of the conversation we were having with a boyish grin on his face, I realized that I was falling in love with him.

That night sat in the back of my mind like a dusty old tape waiting to be played again. It got its chance for a showing when brunch with the Monahan's came to an end.

After Gus and his father abandoned us women at the dining room table, I helped them clean up. I debated on following Gus, but I didn't know if he went to continue the discussion of our marriage with his dad in private or if he was just taking some time for himself. Knowing their relationship, I settled on it being the latter and left him alone.

It was just like the first dinner I ever had with them only this time, we were talking about possible ideas for a wedding. Something I never thought I'd be doing, honestly.