The Difference Between Getting and Needing

t w e n t y - t w o

seems i've found that
i just can't live without y o u . . .

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"Look to your left... not that much... go back– stop! That's perfect. Don't move."

"I have to sneeze."

"You better fucking not."

I grinned to myself and heard the click of Collin's film camera from behind me. I didn't actually have to sneeze, but teasing him when he was in the zone while taking photos was part of my job as being his best friend.

"Okay..." he trailed off, debating his next move for me. "Lean up a little and put all of your hair behind you. Just let it go crazy in the wind. God, this lighting is unbelievable." His voice was low like if he spoke too loud, the sun would vanish. Which in a matter of minutes it would since it was starting to set.

Collin snapped photo after photo, taking advantage of golden hour and that I volunteered to be his model for this spontaneous shoot. I had been his subject on more than one occasion throughout our time of knowing one another, though I couldn't say I especially liked having my picture taken. Because I was comfortable with him and we were practically family, I didn't mind when it was Collin behind the camera. Plus, he naturally had a relaxing aura that could make anyone trust him.

I had seen every shot he'd ever taken, and the candid ones were always my obvious favorite. Blurry selfies at bars, light leaks at concerts, wild effects over top of our faces from expired film. They were the best because they couldn't be duplicated. Unpredictable and chaotic; to feel the energy through the photo just by looking at it. To remember exactly how you felt in that moment when it was taken. They were the best because that was life.

Once Collin had used up the remainder of film that was left on the current roll in his camera, we scrambled off the roof to get back inside, away from the harsh wind to where it was warm. I crawled through my window first, then as soon as Collin was on his feet in my bedroom, I slammed the window shut and locked it.

Turning away from the window, my phone buzzed in the pocket of my jacket and erased whatever thought crossed my mind. I slid it out and when my eyes came across the name on the screen, a sense of dread hit me straight on like a wave in the ocean.

"Fuck," I grumbled, "it's Sutton."

"Put it on speaker. I wanna listen," Collin said eagerly as he plopped onto his stomach on my bed.

Rolling my eyes, I took a seat on the other side of the bed and swiped to answer the call. I pressed the speaker button and placed the phone between us, my anxiety nipping at me with every second that passed.

As if I didn't have enough Sunday Scaries biting me in the ass today, an unanticipated phone call from my sister was enough to send even the most sane person into delirium. Donatella and Nadia were leaving first thing in the morning for a month in Milan and other than my sister's wedding, it was the last thing I was looking forward to. The trip had been extended from three weeks to four, which was another nail in my coffin. The only upside to it was the last week of their trip was the same week I'd be in Hawaii, so who knew what we'd come back to at the office once February arrived.

That was Future Bayla's problem. Current Bayla was still pretending everything was fine, even if it most certainly wasn't.

"Hey, what's going on?" I answered casually, kicking my sneakers off.

"We have a crisis," she said without missing a beat.

There was no indication in her monotone voice of what said crisis could be, but I figured if it was something really serious – like say, Koa was leaving her – she'd be screaming bloody murder.