One Kiss Later (K. Baudelaire)

Chapter 29

"Speaking of parties, after the trial, everyone is welcome to the after-party hosted by me. Wealthy women are particularly welcome." Count Olaf interrupted, standing up from is chair. "I'm also having a party it's a cocktail party, and fashionable men get a free gift." Esmé says, trying to one up Count Olaf. "My party will have Broadway-caliber musical numbers." Count Olaf argues. "My party will have an adorable little girl doing a tap routine." Esmé said, Carmelita standing up next to her, a proud smile on her face. I roll my eyes at the arguing. "My party will have fireworks!" "My party will have sausages!"

"Order in the Court!" Justice Strauss yelled, pounding the gavel, "We are discussing social justice, not social engagements." Count Olaf sat back down on the couch he was provided. "You should reconsider. I don't imagine you get invited to a lot of parties." Count Olaf insulted. "That is enough! I call our first witnesses. That's you Baudelaires." She says ushering them to the stage. I squeeze Klaus's hand, giving him a conflicted smile. He returned the smile and walked to the front, Sunny in hand.

"Please state your names. We know then of course. It's just standard procedure." Justice Strauss said. "Violet Baudelaire." "Klaus Baudelaire." "Sunny Baudelaire."

"Your occupation?" "Inventor." "Researcher." "Chef."

"I object! Their proper occupation is orphan, or inheritor of a large fortune." Count Olaf objected. "That's not even an occupation." I said to him. "Your Objection is noted, though I caution the defendant about speaking out of turn." Justice Strauss warned. "Is this out of turn?" "Yes!" Count Olaf put his hands up in defense and leaned back.

"Baudelaires, you have traveled a great distance and suffered a great deal, but you're finally safe, among friends and associates, classmates and co-workers, faculty member and countless neighbors, reporters, theatergoers, fashionistas, doctors, nurses, carnival guests, mountain climbers, telegraph operators, significant others and deep-see divers. They have been watching you all along the way and are prepared to speak on your behalf but the most important testimony is yours. Go on, Baudelaires. Tell us your story. This time, we promise to listen."

"It began when our parents told us to take a rickety trolley to Briny Beach." "It was grey and cloudy day, so we had the beach to ourselves." "We were testing an invention when we say a figure in the mist. It was Mr. Poe from the bank. He told us-" "He told us our parents perished in a terrible fire. We went to live with Count Olaf." "He hit Klaus across the face!" "He tried to marry Violet! He poisoned Uncle Monty." "And threw Aunt Josephine to the leeches." "He conspired with Esmé Squalor." "And Carmelita Spats." "He kidnapped the Quagmire triplets and Candace Spats from Prufrock Prep." "He murdered Jacques Snicket in the Village of Fowl Devotees." "He tried to cut off Violet's head at the Heimlich Hospital. He.. He threw.." "He threw a brave and noble librarian to the lions. Everywhere we went, we tried to tell people who he was and what he was capable of!" "But they wouldn't listen!" "Nobody would listen!"

"How simply dreadful!" Mr. Poe interrupted.

"We lost everything." "Except each other." "We survived because we believed that one day we'd find a safe place." "Where people would listen to us." "And believe us." "We suffered through so much and we wouldn't have gotten through it without the optimist of a incredibly kind girl, but the root of our suffering is one man. That man. Count Olaf." "This world won't be quiet or safe until he's behind bars." "And all decent people have their day in court. Thank you."

Klaus looks to me, a sad smile etched on his face. I smile back and stand up and start clapping. Everyone in the court room followed suit. Variations of "They're so brave!" and "They're so amazing!" floated around the room.

"If only you children had told me what you had been going through." Mr. Poe said. I rolled my eyes at his ignorance.

"Thank you Baudelaires. We are grateful for your courage." Justice Strauss said, "You may step down now." They stepped back down into their seats, I grab Klaus' hand and smile at him. He smiled back. "I planned to call more witnesses to the podium but your testimony was so compelling, I hate to waste another second." Justice Strauss announced, "I'm going to consult with my fellow judges, and if they agree, we can declare these unfortunate events over at last." Violet sighed, "That's a relief. That book on criminal law said that trials can last days or even years."

"That's what I'm worried about. Look at Count Olaf." Klaus said turning to Count Olaf, "He's about to go to jail. Why does he look so calm?" I tilt my head slightly to the left as I looked at him. "Maybe he's acting calm." Violet suggested. "He's not, I can feel it." I say. "Yeah and plus, we all know he's not that good of an actor there has to be something up." Klaus said. I nod before looking back to Justice Straus. "It seems my fellow judges are ready to deliberate. So without further ado-"

"A violin solo about a naval disaster!" I whip my head around. "Vice Principal Nero?" I whisper to myself. "No! No, please stop that!" Justice Strauss asked, "We will now retire to decide the verdict. Rest assured, Baudelaires, your word is all the evidence we need." That's not right. You need to hear both sides of the story before making a verdict. It's illegal to not have the other side to testify.

"Your Honor, wait!"