dnyl club [ nct dream ]

[ twenty six ]

Jaemin felt emotionally drained as he wrote the last few words of his worst memory with his ex.

Just reliving his happiest moment with Taewon and then reminiscing their happiest moments, and wondering why it had to end if they both were so happy. Then the switch up to their worst memory, and how it all crashed and burned after that, it was such an emotion jerking experience that he had been going through this whole time.

But he did admit that it felt a little better writing it down, and then proceeding to rip up the paper.

And that's how he ended up having to write the mission over four times.

He felt himself heat up in the same anger as before, but he refrained from ripping up the paper this time.

He didn't really want to write it again.

As he let the pen glide over the paper, he began to wonder if the others felt similarly to him through this assignment.

With a sigh, he continued to write, his wrist now sore because of it, but he continued.

He wasn't putting as much detail as he could but that's what led him to ripping the paper in the first place.

It didn't help that the paper had been damp with his own tears, the cool trails that they had made on his face were now uncomfortable, but he made no move to wipe them away.

He was over crying about Taewon, but the recent text messages came back to him, and for some reason the messages lingered in his mind.

Would he ever try to get back together with Taewon?

If he had the chance, would he?

He wasn't sure.

They were great together, but Jaemin felt like he wasn't true to himself. He constantly hid himself from others, only opening up for Taewon, and he felt lonely.

Those friends he had were like white noise when he was at school, and the only times he would be in contact with Taewon was in the hallways and even then, he'd still have to come up with a facade.

He felt trapped in a cage.

And even though he was able to be free, he still has the chains of heartbreak on his hands that just keep pulling his back.

The pain didn't come immediately, when Taewon said they couldn't be together. It didn't seem real, like it was just a silly new joke that Taewon decided to pull, until it hit.

Jaemin was shocked.

How much time Taewon had managed to hold in Jaemin's life.

Those times were now filled with Jaemin shedding tears in his dimly lit room, where his heart was heavy and a headache threatened him every second of the day.

At school, it felt like any word would push him off the edge, and he hated that. Such vulnerability.

He was repulsed by it, it sickened him but it was just so easy to be so weak.

Hanging out with those friends he surrounded himself with at first felt like he couldn't speak a word of his pain to them. That he would never be truly heard.

No one had known about their relationship at all.

They didn't share friend groups, no classes together because Taewon was a year above him, no correlation at all.

It was as if they didn't even create any sort of rip in their timeline.

As if everything would remain the same, but Jaemin only felt the pain of the normalcy. In fact, it made it worse for him.