Rich Bastard {mxm}

Twenty Five.

"I've never wanted something so hard before, but it's unattainable," -C.T

I always told myself that I didn't believe in love for a reason. 

It was never worth the inevitable pain that always came in the end. 

No matter which form of love it was, it had always failed me, so I didn't bother trying to put myself in that position again. However, I did without even trying. I swore I'd never love anyone again besides Vivi because Sterling broke a certain part of me that I didn't think I'd ever get back. Christine broke everything else, places that were far beyond repair.

And it took a while to heal from that hurt because I was still hurting.

But like the idiot I knew I was, that didn't stop me. I knew nothing good was going to happen. I mean, he said that he didn't like pretentious rich people and like it or not, I was that epitome. 

I couldn't do anything about it now. The only thing that I could do was hope that one day that I would forget the pain of not knowing what could've been. I could hope that I could go back to who I used to be, that same Cheyenne who was the same with or without love. It made life so much easier to bear because I didn't have to deal with useless things like emotions. 

"I'm so fucking stupid," I had an itch for a drink, but I couldn't find where Tara had put them. She had moved them so Holly wouldn't think that it was something she could drink, not that she would. 

I sighed, pushing my head into the cushion, hoping that the pain of suffocation would distract me from everything else. "We're back!" I heard Tara's voice as she shut the front door and the clamor of footsteps echoed off of the would and I instantly knew who it was. 

"Hey," I murmured in a soft tone, trying to fake a smile as the little girl made her way towards me, her lips up in a pout. I wondered what was wrong as she had just come from hanging out with Joaquin. Of course, I didn't take her to him like I normally would have and he didn't come here to see her like usual.

Everything had changed because of my mistake.

"Did daddy do something to hurt you, Chey Chey?" Holly crawled up on the couch to lay her head on my stomach and I sighed, figuring out what to say to her. She was still too little to really understand and I didn't want to push anything else on her. "No, I think it's the other way around, Holly," I rubbed my face, fighting the urge to cry. 

"Daddy said he was sad," She continued on, not knowing that she was just adding to the broken heart I already had. "But not because of you. He misses Mommy, so I know he's trying his best. I do know something though," She lifted her head up so I could see her green eyes staring at me as if she knew what I was thinking. "My daddy loves you, Chey Chey," I stifled the abhorrent cough that threatened to take me out of this world. "He's just a big scaredy-cat because he doesn't want you to leave or die," She explained with confusion on her face as if she didn't know what she was talking about or the implications of it. 

"Holly..." I trailed off, unsure if I should poke in a hole in the air or not. "Do you realize what exactly you're saying to me?" She tilted her head and nodded. "Yes,  uncle Tomas told me that you weren't my mommy, but you were like one! Also, you gave my daddy the cute heart eyes when he came by last week." She giggled to herself and I was so taken aback, that I didn't know what to do.

I was going to kill Tomas for corrupting this girl's mind. Even if she didn't seem like she minded, I didn't want the idea being planted into her head in case I had to somehow leave her life. Speaking of, I really had no clue what was happening because Joaquin hadn't called nor texted since he left six days ago.