Love on the Field

Chapter Fourteen: Healing

"No!" I yell sitting up in a cold sweat. I scare the fuck out of Jimmy who sits up quickly.

"Hey, it's alright, just a bad dream." He whispers and comforts my shaking body. "You're safe." He assures. I feel him kiss my forehead before leading me to lay back down.

"I'm sorry for waking you." I whisper.

"It's alright, I always wake up at 8am" He says, making me laugh.

"Is it really 8?" I ask, grabbing my phone. It is. "I should probably get up." I say sitting up again.

"Nooo." He drags making me laugh.

He reaches for me and I flinch hard.

"Oh." I say realizing what I did. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I would, I'm sorry." I repeat and rush towards my bathroom. I shut the door, lean against it and sink to the floor.

"Emmy are you okay?" He asks through the door.

"I'm fine." I say as normal as I can but it's obvious that I'm crying.

"Can I come in?" He asks.

"No, give me a minute."

"Ok. I'll be here." He says.

I must have been here for 15 minutes, at least. Just staring off into space, memories of Royce beating me coming and going and then the overwhelming feeling of not being able to be what Jimmy wants.

"Jimmy?" I call out.

"Yes?" He asks.

"I'm broken."

"No baby I promise you are not broken."

"I am, he broke me. I'm broken." I say opening the door revealing my tear stained cheeks. I see he's sitting on the floor by the door.

"We're gonna get you some help." He whispers, opening his arms towards me. I sit on the floor next to him and let him hold me.

"I can't be who you want me to be right now."

"I don't want you to be anything but yourself Em." He says as he rubs my back. "I'm a patient man." He adds making me laugh.

"I'm just gonna need some time to heal." I say as I pull away from him gently.

"I know."

"And I don't know if when I come back I'll be the same person you knew, or wanted to know." I shyly confess.

"You'll be fine, we'll be alright." He smiles.

"That's the thing Jimmy. I don't know if there will be an us."

"Are you breaking up with me before we date?" He amusingly asks, making me breathlessly laugh. "But in all seriousness I want you to heal with no pressure of coming back and starting where we left off." he smiles.

"I just want to get away from here for a while as soon as possible."

"I get that." He nods.

"Knock knock." I hear my dad call.

"Come in!" I shout.

"Oh, Jim. I didn't know you were here." My dad says as he walks inside.

"Yeah, I brought Em some art supplies. She said she couldn't sleep very well."

"Oh I appreciate that! I really actually appreciate everything you've done." He chokes out. "I'm ashamed to know my little girl was getting hurt and I had no idea."

"It's okay dad." I assure trying time comfort him.

"It's not sweetheart but I promise I'll do better for you. I'm thinking of remodeling your house so tha-"