Guard the Heart

Kabanata 42

KABANATA

Nuisance

Emotions flicker in his dark eyes, a mixture of sadness, frustration, and loneliness. Marami iyon pero sa sobrang bilis hindi ko na napangalanan lahat. He looks lost, like a man who doesn't know what's going on. He sounded so broken, too.

Guni-guni ko lang 'to, I said to myself. Pinaglalaruan niya na naman ba ako? Is this some kind of a test if I learned? Hindi ko alam. I hold on to my sanity and refuse to be persuaded by whatever I am seeing.

I cleared any sign of weakness on my face and put on a bold expression.

"Don't bother. I'm... nobody," I said coldly.

Tumiim ang panga niya. Wala na ang kung ano mang nakita ko sa mga mata niya kanina. It's just probably my imagination or my feelings is playing with me.

"I don't think so."

He took another step forward, and it took me all my effort to never show that I am affected. Is this why they gave me a heads up? Will he pry on me again? May amnesia na nga manloloko na naman!

"Are you my girlfriend?" he asked suspiciously.

I smirked. "You don't do girlfriends."

No, hindi ko sasabihin sa'yo, baka matuwa ka lang kung paano ako nagpakatanga. I probably look like a poor laughingstock for him. Hindi na. Mabuti ngang mabaon na 'yon. I can't believe how I stooped that low for a man. If I think of it not, it makes me cringe. I can't believe I was that desperate.

Mabubuhay naman pala na wala siya. Kinaya ko naman. I was a drama queen, and it sucks. Well, love can really make a fool of yourself if you got it bad.

"If it troubles you to see me, why not leave? Tapos naman na ang MusiKamp. 'Di ba 'yon naman ang pinunta mo rito?"

Kitang-kita ko ang pag-igting ng panga niya. Hindi ako nagpatinag. Panahon na para naman patunayan kong hindi na ako apektado, na natututo na ako. I grow and it made me stronger.

"Why do you want me leave so bad, are you hiding something from me?"

I was shaken a bit, but I composed myself immediately. "I am just giving you a better option. Isa pa, ano naman ang itatago ko sa'yo?"

"I don't know, you tell me," he said dangerously.

Umiling ako. "I told you I am nobody."

"Why am I having a hard time believing you, Santina?"

Oh shit! The way he utters my name made my insides twist.

"You're just imagining things, Mr. Casrojas."

He smirked. Again, I cursed in my head.

"Why so formal? Why not call me by my first name?"

Are we playing words here? Ayoko nito! Bakit ba ako ang pinapaproblema niya kung hindi siya makaalala? Leche!

His friends should have answered his query! I can really smell something fishy about this. Kaya hindi ko talaga lubusang ma-absorb that he freaking have amnesia. The sickness itself sounded too fictional.

"You are our guest, it's only right I address you properly, sir."

Tumango siya pero halata namang wala sa loob.

"About what you said last night."

I clenched my teeth. Kumabog ang dibdib ko. I didn't remember the whole of it, but I can remember some of my words. Hindi ko naman pinahalata na apektado ako. Nagawa ko pang itaas ang mukha ko, pero hindi naman ako makatingin sa mga mata niya.