Playing Hearts

Simula

Simula

Hatred is a dangerous feeling. Especially if you feel it to someone you loved before. It's a pity, actually. That a beautiful thing called love can turn into hate.

"What do you want?" I tried my best not to sound rude but I didn't succeed. I guess my hate for him is overflowing.

Lumapit siya sa akin. Tiningnan ko siya, sinubukang basahin kung anong iniisip niya.

Does he hate me too?

The wind blew. The breeze touched my face. I crossed my arms because I felt cold. I sighed because I know that tonight will be a dreary night.

"I want you to break up with him, Kirsha," I stared at him. Akala ko ay nakikipagbiruan lang siya dahil mahilig siyang magbiro. But he looked so serious.

I'm not hearing things. He really asked me to break up with my boyfriend. Pero sa pagkakaalam ko ay wala na kaming ugnayan sa isa't isa, kaya wala siya sa posisyon para utusan ako na putulin ang relasyon ko sa isang tao.

Maybe it's a bad idea that I agreed to talk with him. Walang patutunguhan itong pag-uusapan namin.

"Kung wala kang matinong sasabihin, aalis na ako," humakbang ako palayo sa kaniya ngunit hinila niya ang kamay ko.

"Just hear me out," he begged. I can hear the desperation in his voice. I wanted to laugh. I never thought that he can be this desperate. Hindi naman siya ganito noon.

"Fine," labag sa loob kong sinabi. I looked at my watch and saw that it's already 6:30 pm. "Bilisan mo, I have to go home and study for the deptals."

"He's cheating, Kirsha."

This is bullshit. 

Sana talaga hindi na lang ako pumayag na makipag-usap sa kaniya. Nasa apartment na sana ako ngayon at nag-aaral para sa departmental quiz namin bukas.

"Cheating?" I scoffed.  "Huwag mo siyang ihalintulad sa'yo. He'll never do that."

"You deserve better," he uttered.

This guy is fucking unbelievable! Ang kapal ng mukha niyang sabihin sa akin 'yang gasgas na linya.

"I deserve better? Luke, tell me. Who's better? Ikaw?" I looked at him, straight to the eye. "Remember that you cheated on me? You're a cheater. You're a liar. You will never be better." Sinigurado kong mararamdaman niya kung gaano ko siya kinamumuhian sa bawat pagbitiw ko ng mga salita.

I tried to walk away but he pinned me against the wall. And the next thing that happened? His lips on my lips. And the worst thing is that I found myself kissing him back. Roughly. Making him feel my frustrations through kisses.

This will be the cause of my damnation. I'll probably bring this sin to my grave.

Then I remembered Aziel. Aziel is my boyfriend. And he has no idea that his damned girlfriend is kissing someone because she's mad and frustrated. It's not even a good reason why I'm kissing Luke. So I did my best to push him away from me.

"What the hell, Luke!" Sigaw ko. I wiped my lips hard. As if wiping will make any difference. As if it will instantly remove the taste of his lips on mine.

"You kissed me back," he smirked.

"I love your brother!"

"You liked it," He said. Still pertaining to the kiss.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko na sampalin siya. Hindi siya kumibo. I slapped him again. Pero tinanggap niya lang ito. Hindi pa ako nakuntento at hinampas ang nakakuyom kong mga palad sa dibdib niya. Hindi ko namalayan na bumuhos na ang mga luha ko. Nanghihina na ako ngunit inipon ko ang natitira kong lakas para itulak siya.

Tumakbo ako palayo sa kaniya. Kinabahan ako nang makita ko na nagsibabaan na ang mga estudyante galing fifth floor. May nakakita kaya sa amin sa likod ng building? Ipinikit ko ang mata ko at umiling. Nangyari na. Wala na akong magagawa. Kung may nakakita man at isumbong kami kay Aziel ay hindi ko ipagkakaila. 

I committed a sin and I don't want to commit another to cover that one up. I'll face the consequences.

"Sinong tinatakbuhan mo?" I stopped running when I heard his voice.

Dahan dahan akong lumingon ako at nakitang nakangiti siya sa akin. Kumirot ang puso ko.

"Aziel." I whispered. 

Can you still smile like that if I'll tell you what happened?