Code name: Athena [18+]

Code name: Il passato

No. This can't be happening to me.

About ninety minutes later I was parking my car outside my home, the place where I've made plans with my wife; we've already picked the room for a nursery even though she's not pregnant...we try every night. She must be disgusted by my touch, all those 'I love you' weren't real; my life has been a lie for over a year.

Tears slipped down my cheeks as I hopped off the car thinking about what to say once my eyes meet hers. I wish I hadn't seen that, I wish she would've killed me in my sleep with a bullet to the heart so I would've died thinking she loved me more than anything in the world.

"I'm in the kitchen, stud!" She shouted as soon as I closed the entrance door.

Long, heavy strides took me to the kitchen of the house Lula chose; the first night we had sex on the counter and ate mozzarella sticks for dinner even though I abhor them she taught me to find a good thing in every bad situation.

"Hi, baby," she grinned throwing her arms around my neck but I didn't react, just looked into her eyes confused "Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

My hands gently gripped her wrists to remove them from me "I saw you at the coffee shop."

Lula arched an eyebrow and truly convinced me of her confusion "What are you talking about baby? I've been here all day long."

"Please don't lie to me," my eyes flooded with tears as my lower lip trembled. "I'm not strong enough..." I leaned on the counter feeling dizzy.

My wife approached me and cupped my face "Baby you're as pale as snow, you need to sit down—"

"I don't want to sit down!" I snapped and immediately regretted it by the look on Lula's face; I had never raised my voice at her. "Are you working for the government, Lula? Is your name even Lula?"

Lula took two steps back as her sight fell to the floor "I love you, Mariano. I've always loved you from the beg—"

"Just tell me the truth," I interrupted.

A sob left her mouth as she gazed up at me with tears sliding down her cheeks "Yes, I work for the FBI but that doesn't change what I feel for you; my loyalty has changed. I love you, Mariano."

"You don't love me," I pulled out the gun from my shoulder harness and pointed it at her heart with shaky hands.

Lula took another step back as her breathing became heavy "Mariano, put the gun down and talk to me—"

"It's too late for that now," my right index finger pulled the trigger.

My wife fell on her knees with her eyes still on me, her last breath resonated in my head and before she could hit the floor I caught her.

Her body turned cold quickly, for three hours I stared at her dead body across my lap, open eyes torturing me, the blood-stained the white-tile flooring and soaked the fabric of my suit. My lips pecked her forehead before gently closing her eyes then I got up on my feet with her cadaver in my arms. With my thoughts crumbling in my head, my feet took me upstairs to the master bedroom; I lay her down on the bed and used a black blanket she knitted for me to cover her.

"I need a cleanup team," I informed the man on the other side of the line "don't tell the boss, I'll tell him myself."

There's not enough energy in my body to try and process this. I'll lie to Apollo tomorrow, tell him I'm going on my honeymoon before moving to Rome.

Her blood was all over my hands; my weak steps took me to the bathroom so I could rinse off the thick substance. Once I was done aggressively rubbing my hands, I picked up the folded towel from her sink but something hit the floor.

My eyes darted down to find a long blue and white object. The quick thumps of my heartbeat created an earthquake inside of me...one that crumbled every remaining piece of me. With trembling hands, I picked up the object and fell on my buttocks.

She was pregnant.

"No..." I crawled back to the bed; every muscle in my body was violently quivering. "I'm so sorry, baby," my arms were wrapped around her stiff legs as my head rested on her stomach "please forgive me," I sobbed. "NO!" an agonizing scream left my mouth.

•Present day• 

I wiped my tears away as my eyes admired the white knitted blanket in my hands. Lula made the black one for me and the white one for herself as a wedding gift, for us to use on plane rides.

Not a day goes by without me thinking about her and our unborn child. One that I murdered in cold blood.

A knot formed at the back of my throat "I can't do this, Abra..."

Not gonna lie, this broke my heart. I feel like it should've been explained a long time ago.
Love
-M