It's Strange Life
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A D D I S O N
September 25th 2019
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We got onto the plane. Nadia, Elijah and me sat together. Ashton was across from us all. Leaving was hard. I had a new life. Elijah and I had been alone for so long. Now he was going to be thrown into meeting everyone. God I wish 18 year old me would have just thought about his future.
But I'm doing this for him. What if something happens to me one day? If I never told anyone about him- I don't want to think like that. Eli crawled onto my lap to look out the window.
"Outside." Elijah tells me.
I smile.
"Yep. We're gonna fly." I tickle him a bit.
"Fly." He expands the word giggling.
As we start to take off I hold him tightly.
"Woah!" He giggles watching out the window. He stay fixated on the sky until he started to yawn.
I sat him in his seat as he curled himself into a ball laying down. I played with his curly hair smiling softly at my baby boy.
"I'm going pee." Nadia told me. I nod smiling at her. I keep playing with his hair as someone takes Nadias seat.
"He's a good sleeper." Ashton pointed out making me smile a bit.
"Yeah he is." I look up at Ash.
"Probably gets that from me." He chuckles.
"Yeah no kidding. War couldn't wake you." I laugh thinking about all the times I tried and couldn't wake him up.
We both fall silent.
"I use to stay up at night and cry. I hated that you left." Ashton admits. "I hated you." He looks at Elijah. "Well I thought I did. But I could never hate you. I hated myself for letting you leave." He swallows.
"Ash-"
"I needed to stay that." He tells me.
"Why?"
"Because I need you to know that, that's not how I feel anymore. Time changes a lot." He looks into my eyes.
"I felt like shit everyday without you." I admit.
"If I didn't tell you I didn't want kids, would you have left?" Ash asks.
"I don't know." I look down to my sleeping baby.
"Was there something I could have done? Or said?" He asks.
"I don't know Ashton. But it's the past now. We have to focus on the future. As parents." I look to him. He swallows and nods.
"I agree." He nods.
"So, you and Ivy-"
"Ashton go back to your own seat!" Nadia whisper yells at Ashton grabbing his ear and getting him out of her spot. "What did I miss?" She asks making me laugh a bit.
