Noah Baker || ✔

31

31 | Heart Eyes
Song: S.L.U.T
By: Bea Miller

November 2, 2018

I haven't gone to school in a month. I've had Mereck, JT and Ashton bring and deliver me my homework and projects. In the last mouth, I've wanted to disappear, completely. I don't feel safe at school not at my own home by myself.

Mereck and I made up too and so did me and JT. But also JT's been more distant from me, so has Ashton, I'm worried. Mereck is mostly at my house with me, before and after school, bringing me work and food. I really do appreciate him.

But me and Gray... Yeah, it's rough. Ever since we kissed, I distanced myself from him. It's the only thing I can do, I can't control myself these days. And who knows what's going on at school for him. He might be beating up Ben for all I know. I wonder if I made him mad.

I never told JT about what happened though. Knowing that I'd hurt her, I don't want her to go through that. I know lying is bad but sometimes it has to be done.

But after Gray kissed me, at first, I didn't think about JT. I felt like we were the only two people in the world. That was our moment. Then my stupid mind had to remind me. Even before he kissed me when the two of us were staring into each other's, gazing at our attractive colors. I felt like I was seeing the old Gray. I know he's still there, he's just hiding something.

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October 16, 2018 ------

Gray's POV

Watching Noah drive away as she left me in such confusion.

No. No no. WHY DID I F*CKING KISS HER? What's wrong with me? First I left her, then she got raped by f*cking Ben, I ignored her when she tried to call because I'm a selfish f*cking piece of sh*t, and now I f*cked up again.

What the f*ck is wrong with me.

I suddenly realized that I'm in my car and driving to Noah's house. As I stopped at a red light, I panicked. What the f*ck am I doing? Don't follow her home. Are you psycho? But the car moved anyway. I started to have heavy breathing as I turned onto the highway. My hands sweaty, and mind, out of it.

Oh, how I lifted her onto the counter, myself in between her legs, hands running through my hair, sending a tingling sensation all over my body, made me crave her even more.

Her lips were so soft, they fitted perfectly against mine.

I've always wanted to kiss her.

I turned into her neighbor, but as I approached her house, my jaw clenched as I saw a second car in her driveway. I parked a few houses away, got out and started to walk. And when I got to the driveway, a certain someone exited her home.

He didn't notice me at first but after I grabbed her and pinned him against her garage door, I think he f*cking notice.

"What the hell?!" Ashton struggled, "what's your problem—?" He shouted, but I covered his mouth. I don't want Noah to see this. I leaned in closer to him, staring him down, glaring holes into his eyes, I growled, "You better not be sleeping with her"

And his expression changed quickly, "what the f— No!" He stated, "I came to comfort her," His eyes followed with mixed emotions. I could see he was having a hard time. "She's been through a lot like dealing with girls, you and horny boys—" he paused because he realized what he just said wasn't in his place to say.

I let go of him and he fell onto the ground, holding his wrist.

"Noah's gay?" I snap. No, she can't be. When I kissed her, she kissed back though.