Pandemonium

Elevator Two

The intensity of the fire. The feeling against my skin. A smoky shadow of a woman burning and turning to ash. Every time I close my eyes the scene comes back to me. I was able to force it away just because we had to keep moving but I will never forget. I can't ward off the demons forever. They haunt and they torment. No end to them once I've paused to catch my breath. Especially now that the darkness has set in. How am I ever going to sleep? 

I open my eyes to stare at the ceiling. Hector's hand grabs mine. "Are you okay? Be honest," he asks me. 

"Of course I'm not okay. I keep seeing her death..." I whisper. "I keep feeling that rage inside of me. I want him to die. I want him to suffer. But, I don't want to be a murderer. I don't want to follow in his footsteps," warm tears fall down the sides of my face. What if, after all of this, I end up becoming him? 

"You'll never be like him, I promise," Hector assures, squeezing my hand. 

"That's just it, you can't promise that," I shake my head. "There is something missing, Hector, something missing in my memories. What if that missing piece is something terrible? What if I've already become someone like him and I just don't remember? What if all of us have done things we can't remember? Who are we anyway? Why are we here? Is this really all just to satisfy the whims of some mysterious game master?" 

"That's not true. It can't be. I don't believe it." 

"Hector," I sigh. "When we first got here, I couldn't remember how I got here. I still can't. Every time I try to go back to that place, I can't remember. It's like those memories are sealed away inside me. Someone is keeping me from remembering. Something, maybe. It wasn't until I saw you, saw my mother, that some memories came back of who I was. The vague idea was there when I was trapped in that cylinder but everything clicked into place when we locked eyes. What else am I missing? What other memories are locked away? Is it really just the origin of how we ended up in this death trap? Hector, what if my love for you is fake? What if this too is part of the game master's plan?" 

"You said so yourself, right? That even if I were to betray you, you would support me throughout this entire game," Hector smiled. "So, then, even if your love for me was fake and your entire personality was a fabrication...I'll still love you, Hendrix." 

"You two seriously need to stop with your painfully sweet pillow talk," Faust's face hovers over both of ours. We turn to look at them and Hector and I turn a billion shades of pink. 

"Aren't you supposed to be watching the murderer?" I huff, crossing my arms and rolling onto my stomach to hide my face. 

Faust laughs at my shame. "He is out like a light, don't worry." 

"Can I even trust that?" I turn my head ever so slightly so one eye can judge their appearance. 

"You've trusted me this far, haven't you?" they smile. "I appreciate that, by the way, I know my personality is a bit..." they pause and exhale a long sigh. "Okay, let's face it, I'm the least trustworthy-looking person in this entire elevator of people. Right? But, you're still trusting me. Thank you for that." 

"You haven't given me a reason not to trust you so far..." 

"I hope you will continue to trust me, Hendrix. I'll repay you in the future." This oddly serious tone coming from Faust worries me. What is bugging them? I open my mouth but they cut me off and ruffle my hair. "You two get some sleep, okay?" they grin. 

"Fonso!" Pandora screams, sitting up a few feet away from me. Gilbert sits up too and pulls him into a hug. 

"It was a nightmare, just a bad dream," Gilbert whispers. Who is sharing a sleeping bag with Rose then? Well, it doesn't matter. 

"But he is still dead, isn't he?" Pandora's voice cracks. "He is still dead..." 

"You need to go back to sleep, Pandora."

"How am I supposed to sleep? Every time I close my eyes I see him saving me. Why did he save me?" 

"Pandora..." 

"I can't sleep. I can't!" 

"You have to sleep, Pandora, or you won't make it when we get to the next floor."

"I should've died. Claude was right. I should do you all a favor and di-" I turn my head to get a better look at those two and see Gilbert's hand covering Pandora's mouth.  

"Talking like that isn't going to fix anything. Try your best to sleep, okay?" Pandora's body goes limp and Gilbert rests him down on the floor. Did he use Pandora's fear of germs to knock him out? Nice quick thinking there, Gilbert. I close my eyes and try to follow his advice. Not sleeping isn't going to help anything. I have to maintain as much of my sanity as possible, if possible.