What is Home

Chapter Twenty

The lunch room was empty when I walked in. My eyes focused on the table where our group would meet every day. I focused on the seat where I would sit right next to Grayson, and I could feel all emotions flood over me. Anger and sadness were pulling the lead for the emotions I was feeling the most.

My lunch bag dropped on the table right at my normal seat. I sat down staring at the bag on the table, ignoring all the voices that started to fill the lunch room around me. The seats at my table began to fill and I ignored every person that took a seat, keeping my eyes locked on my lunch that had still been untouched.

The focus was only broken when I heard the sound of the chair next to me being pulled out. The sound of a Tupperware container hitting the table sounded next and my eyes drifted to it on the table. The cookies were half gone. My eyes moved up to see Grayson acting as if he was as perfect as he was every other day.

Not one hair on his head was out of place. He didn't even seem like the words he had said to me affected him at all. Whereas, my hair looked like I had just rolled out of bed. His comment constantly running through my mind causing every part of me to feel out of place.

I was trying so hard to hold it together as he spoke. His voice full of happiness. There was only so much I could take and I had had enough. I stood up causing him to look at me for the first time since sitting down. His blue eyes didn't have a bit of emotion behind them. Their spark had completely vanished. Every bit of happiness he was putting out, was fake.

I could feel a tear beginning to form all over again as his eyes looked at me. "I can't do this." I pushed my chair hard into the table before walking off. I could feel his eyes follow me as I walked away. I could hear Pierce's voice question what was going on, but no one had the answer but Grayson.

I spent the rest of the week avoiding Grayson at all cost. That meant that I spent every lunch block locking myself in a stall in a bathroom near the cafeteria. It was easier to keep all of my friends completely out of sight, than to sit there and see how happy they were not having me around.

Friday morning came around and I walked into Reece's room for something Lincoln High related to wear. He threw some old clothes from old football seasons at me. I walked into my room picking a white t-shirt with Lincoln High Football in royal blue writing on the front. The back of it read Leighton with his number below his last name. I took a hair tie and pulled the shirts extra fabric to the front and hair tied it together tucking up into the shirt. At first I put on blue sweatpants that matched the shirt, but I got Reece's opinion on how I looked. He thought I'd be better off wearing jeans, so I switched out the sweatpants for jeans.

I wanted to change it up for the day. Instead of going for my normal untouched hair I decided to throw half of my hair up into a ponytail. I stared at myself wondering if I was trying to be something that I wasn't. But I liked the way I looked, so I kept my hair the way it was styled. I finished up my morning by throwing my books into my book bag before heading down to breakfast.

Breakfast had officially become an all family affair, Luca and Lucy joining us. I hadn't been eating much in the past week, so I just had a piece of toast for breakfast. I knew that everyone was taking notice of my lack of food intake but kept their thoughts to themselves. My parents were only going to step in if I stopped eating all together. They knew I was going through a rough time and once I got over my hurdle, I would return to my regular eating habits.

Reece and I left for school and I knew that today everyone would be to school on time. Grayson would be standing there waiting in the parking lot with his friends when Reece and I pulled in. I had gone all week not having to see him besides the few seconds of passing in the hall. But I was about to be stuck having to stand there, while all our friends talked before we entered the school.

I got out of the car and saw Grayson's eyes follow me as I walked over to the group. "Charlee changing it up." Ally spoke causing Grayson's focus to shift for a few seconds before his eyes drifted back to me.

"Can we talk Charlee?" Grayson spoke for the first time after the harsh words he said to me in the hallway. I looked down at his hands that clenched his extra jersey.

"I'm sorry I don't associate with people who make fun of the fact that I was beaten to within an inch of my life on multiple occasions growing up." The looks on the faces of the people who were in our group shifted all in unison to shocked. Until this moment no one knew what exactly kept me away from them. This was the first time they were getting a look in on why I had become distant.

"He did what?" Even Pierce didn't know. The conversation between Grayson and I, was kept fully to myself. The anger that was behind Pierce's voice was stronger than I had ever heard it before. He didn't even have this much anger when he spoke about his family being so fucked up.

I laughed out of my own insanity about the situation. "Tell them what you said to me Grayson." I took a step closer to him balling my fists as I got closer. I wasn't going to hit him but I needed to pull my anger somewhere.

"I wasn't thinking." His voice was quiet. He was embarrassed by his actions. It had taken him four whole days to even think about even apologizing. That is where my issues laid with him. He didn't have any remorse for his actions until he was called out on them. I don't think he ever realized how absolutely insane the comment he made was, until I recited it back to him.

"I said tell them what you said to me." My body was now closer to his than it had even been before. I wanted him to feel the rage that was coming off my skin, the fire that had been smoldering for days.

"I-" He stumbled over his words. I think he was honestly scared of me.

I took a step back from him. "You can find someone else to wear Coleman on their back because I want nothing to do with you." Mic drop.

I pushed past Grayson shoving my shoulder into his in the process. He stumbled backwards and I became the queen of this group. Everyone followed in my footsteps leaving Grayson by himself to think about his actions.