What is Home

Prologue

Charlee Baker. That's what my parents decided to name me, their first child, the one that took all the hell for the next four they popped out. To say my life was rough would be an understatement. I lived every second of my life wondering when the next round of black and blue would appear on my skin. The abuse became a part of everyday life since the age of ten. The issue I struggled with more than all the beating and abuse was the fact I didn't place blame on my parents for their actions. I blamed all the drugged filled syringes and pills or whatever my parents got their hands on to get a sense of high for a few hours. Addiction had gobbled up my parents and there was no sign of them being spit out anywhere in the future.

The house that I raised my siblings in was better off being burned to the ground. My parents had let the house fall into ruins once the addiction hit full stride. Their used needles riddled the floor from one end of the house to the other. No amount of clean up would ever help. By the time I would get home from school their paraphernalia would encompass the house all over again.

The only safe space in the home was the four walls of the children's bedroom. Five of us living in a tiny room barely big enough for two full beds to fit. I'd spend most of my nights sleeping on the floor between the two beds keeping my siblings safe. I knew my life was bad when I found out that other kids didn't lock themselves in their room to keep themselves safe from their own parents. This life was just normal to me so I thought it was normal for everyone else.

Our neighbors were the biggest blessing that any person living a life like mine could ask for. They'd take the twins while I did what I could to get money to put food in the fridge. The two youngest, I'd bring with me to whatever job I could get for the day. They were too much to handle for our neighbors who were pushing their late seventies.

Most of my jobs just ended up being tutoring gigs. Despite being beaten to within an inch of my life at times, I was a straight A student. I had to be better than my parents for my siblings. I wasn't just a sister to them, I was a mother to them. I wanted them to be just as I was. Using their brains to lead themselves to being happy, healthy and smart. With the help of our neighbors keeping them away from our parents I was succeeding at keeping them on that path. It was all that I could hope for.