Still - h.s (au)

Chapter 12

Grace

My birthday was never a special day for me.

Growing up my parents used to invite my school friends and their parents to our house, and they would throw a small party with lots of food to celebrate my birthday. I did enjoy those parties, but as I grew older birthdays seems like a waste of time to me, and I didn't mind not celebrating it at all.

But this year was different.

Because today it is my eighteenth birthday. And I am officially an adult now. Not that I hadn't considered myself one before, but from now on I am independent, and I do not need my parents' permission to anything as I did before. And more importantly, now I can finally take my final exam as a nurse. Hopefully, I can do it this week, as I feel more prepared than ever.

However, what made this day really special was Harry and his lovely surprise in the morning. Never had I expected that we were going to do a small dance to the sound of his beautiful voice singing Fred Astaire. It was the most wonderful surprise that anyone has ever done to me. And maybe that was why I kissed him afterward.

I don't know what got into me because Grace would never do that with a man she barely knows. But Harry has this strange effect on me, and most of the time I am with him, I am not able to think properly. Do I regret the kiss I gave him? No, not at all. It was the best kiss I have ever received, even though it was a very simple and innocent one. It was so good that I can still feel his lips on mine when I close my eyes. All I can think of is kissing him again, even if that is totally wrong.

The only person I had ever kissed in my life was Calvin, and he only kissed me for the first time after he had asked my father if we could officially be together. And even then, his kisses were very plain and simple. Not once I felt the fire burning inside me as Harry made me feel this morning. It was a feeling so unknown to me, but so good at the same time, I could never get tired of it.

Harry was slowly conquering my heart and I was afraid that he might actually make me fall deeply in love with him, because that would only bring us suffering. We were both weeks away from going to war, and none of us knows if we are going to survive or not. It was already painful enough going to war but going to war knowing that he was going to be fighting for his life was a different level of pain.

But I am afraid that I cannot do anything right now, I am too involved in this to simply stay away from him.

"Grace, are you even listening to me?" I am awake from my thoughts when my mother speaks to me.

Tonight, I was having dinner with my parents as a celebration for my birthday. We were having an early dinner because of the curfew imposed during this war. The restaurant we had chosen was not very far from the hospital, as they had driven across the city to meet up with me here. I was sad when I realised that they were alone, without my younger siblings. But I understand, it is too dangerous to be out at night, and they were much safer at home with the nanny. At least they both wrote me a letter wishing me a happy birthday, which had warmed my heart.

"Yes, mama." I whisper using my fork to play with the loose peas I have left on my plate at the end of the meal.

"Grace stop playing with your food." My mother commands. "And straighten our back, where are your manners?" I sit up correctly looking at her across the table. I had not missed this at all. "Now, back to what I was saying. Calvin showed up at our house the other day, you should have seen how miserable he looked, Grace. How could you do that to him?" She continued.

I already knew that they would touch the Calvin subject today, and I was not looking forward to it. They do not understand that it is my decision, and not theirs. "Mama that is something that only concerns Calvin and I." I say trying to remain calm.