Farewell

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  [For clarification that is just the chapter title. I'm not saying goodbye!]

[Edited July 26, 2022]

After Nico ended the call with Bruce, he headed back towards the Senate House. He didn't have a particular destination in mind, but he knew he wanted to be alone. The Senate House seemed like the best place to do that. He had a few decisions to make still that couldn't be left until later. The first thing he needed to figure out was how to say goodbye.

Should he even say goodbye? Nico knew that he wouldn't be able to do it in person, of course. That would be like asking to be stopped. He had to do it in some way that The Wayne family would only see after he left-- when it was already too late. The only thing that made sense would be to write letters. Of course, the demigod's penmanship wasn't the best because of his dyslexia, but he felt that he owed it to them to try.

Nico once again dropped his weapons off with Terminus on his way back over the Pomeranian line. The statue god was less than pleased to see him, but Nico tried not to let it bother him. Terminus could probably tell he didn't belong in the camp, being a Greek in all. Nico kept his head down and dodged a group of Senators who were all still complaining about Frank's promotion. No one paid the ambassador any mind.

The son of Hades hadn't made it too far in before he spotted Hazel, Frank, and Percy heading back towards the border. he ducked behind a column as they passed. He was in no shape to give a proper send-off and he didn't want to ruin her image of him by losing his composure. They passed him by without incident. They looked like they'd been friends for ages, not just a few days. Nico's heart ached with both longing and fear. He wished he had that kind of connection with someone. He never seemed to stay anywhere long enough to make friends while Percy didn't even have to try.

He was happy for Hazel and her new friends, but he was also afraid. A lot was riding on this quest and the risks were high, especially since the dead weren't staying dead. The possibility that they may fail or that they may not return weighed heavily on his heart. Hazel was the only other child of the god of death and he didn't want to lose her too. Nico watched them go, wishing he had the courage to give Hazel a proper send-off.

After the questers left, Nico retreated deep within the Senate House and found a quiet place to think. He tucked himself into a calm courtyard behind a pillar out of the way of any foot traffic. New Rome was bustling all the time, there were few places where he could be truly alone. He just wanted to be able to hear himself think. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, looking to see if there was anyone else he wanted to call. There was nobody that he felt he could give a satisfactory farewell through a call. They deserved better than that. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he owed the people in his life. He couldn't just fall off the face of the Earth and leave them guessing about what happened.

[Trigger Warning: Suicide]

Nico had seen too many families grieving the loss of a loved one who had left the world too soon, some by accident and some by their own hand. It was debatable what a trip to Tartarus would count as. They would ask themselves how it could have happened and why the loved one would want to leave them. Hadn't they done enough? Why hadn't their loved one come to them when they were hurting?

Nico couldn't stand the thought of leaving his friends and family in that state of confusion and without closure. They didn't deserve that. He had to tell them something if only to spare himself from the guilty feeling. He didn't want to add gross negligence of human bonds to his long list of regrets. That decided it, he had to make sure that the people he cared about knew what happened. He had to let them know somehow.

No w he just had to decide how. He could call them, but he didn't know if he could keep it together. Would he be able to keep his resolve when he could hear the hurt in their voices? Could he really stand to make all of those phone calls? He could text them, he supposed, but he felt that that was too impersonal. Plus, the half-bloods didn't have phones and many of them couldn't read. Texting wouldn't be a good idea either. That only left writing letters. This would also mean that he could leave the letters for people to find and they wouldn't have time to stop him. It was the best option that he could come up with on such short notice.

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