Escaping Strings

Chapter 48: The Siblings

“I'm really sorry, Iris. I didn't mean to—”

“No, I am alright,” mabilis na sagot nito. “You, please, get back here already. Nasaan ka ba talaga? You know, Matthew—”

“Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako babalik diyan, mumsh. Just tell mom that I'm alright. Tell Diane to take care of herself and her baby. W–We can't lose another Fortalejo.” Napapikit ako habang kagat-kagat ang ibabang labi.

There, I remembered, I lost the other one. It should be a twin. I should be having twins, but... but I lost the other. Ang sakit ng puso ko, parang pinipiga ito sa sobrang bigat ng nararamdaman ko.

“J–Just tell everyone to take care of themselves, tell them that I am fine and I have to do this. Tell them not to worry. You, you shouldn't worry.”

Hindi naman siya agad nagsalita. Her silence speaks for itself. Parang ang katahimikan niya na mismo ang nagsasabi sa akin na itigil ko na ang kung anuman ang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko.

She sniffs before speaking, “Martina, please, stop this madness. You lose one of the twins but there is still another one alive inside of you. Do you even see you yourself and your child growing and asking for what he or she is lacking? Matt—”

“I love you, Iris,” I said, showing drear to her supposedly last words. “Don't stop living your life the way you should be living it because of my absence. Have fun like how you used to. I miss you, I miss all of you. I'm sorry for being selfish at the moment, and stop crying or you'll get ugly,” sabi ko pa saka tinawanan ang huling sinabi ko.

Pinunasan ko rin ang mga luha ko at ngumiti kahit na hindi niya ako nakikita.

“But Matthew—”

“You are not telling him anything. Consider this as a closure, our last talk, I mean.”

“Wait, what the fuck, Martina? You should always update me. At least, talk to me for my own peace, para naman alam kong okay ka lang. Please, kahit ito lang, huwag mo nang ipagkait sa akin,” she replied in blue.

Napabuntong-hininga ako at napapikit. I hate this, I hate how things turned out to be like this. Iris loves me so much as much as I love her. I hate hearing her sullen voice, but I really have to do this.

“I love you, I'm sorry,” I said and without hesitations, I ended the call.

I'm sorry.

Napatingin ako sa phone ko at muling napaluha nang dahil sa nakita ko. It's been a month since I got here, it's been a month since I turned off my phone and open it just now. Thousands of text messages and missed calls popped but I did not check it. Ayaw kong makita kung kanino ba nanggaling ang mga ito... or rather I don't want to see if whether he's been trying to reach me or not. Hindi ko nga nakita ang pangalan niya or endearment namin sa message box or call logs, nakita ko naman ang wallpaper ng phone ko na kasama ko siya at masayang nakangiti sa isa't isa.

I smile faintly and whispers, “I'm sorry.”

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luha na nagmula sa mga mata ko saka muling pinatay ang phone. Pupunta sana ako sa kitchen para uminom ng tubig nang si Jazmin ang bumungad sa akin nang umikot ako. She smiles seeing how I look as she sighs. Magsasalita sana siya pero pinigilan niyang bumuka ang bibig niya. She just shook her head before walking towards me and grab my hand. Hinila niya ako papasok sa kitchen at pinaupo sa dining area. I watch her turn her attention back to what she's cooking.

“That smells delicious, Jazzy,” I magnified. “Can't wait to have a taste of it.”

“I cooked this for you so I have to make it delightful,” she chuckles.