NOSEBLEED • rewrite

Chapter Sixteen

fuck you, Jackson

The red-hot rush washes over me in an unforgiving wave, my head spinning over and over until I can no longer bear to keep my eyes open to see where we have ended up. I think I'm sleep deprived beyond the point of recovery, maybe even slowly starving to the point of my stomach beginning to cave in on itself. All I know is that I'm hot, unbearably hot, I can barely breathe in the thick air surrounding me. It feels humid, but my mouth is dry, my eyes too, sticking to the back of my eyelids like their life depends on it. It's sticky, why is it so sticky?

I squirm in my seat, the plush leather sticking to every part of my exposed skin only causing more discomfort. I groan lightly pushing myself forward to rest my sweating forehead on the cold dashboard in front of me. It offers some kind of relief that I was looking for but my head still thumps with every rock in the road, my chest heaving heavily. This awful crawling, sense of dread feeling is what woke me up, though I quickly found I was unable to hold my eyes open and my head up for more than two seconds.

"You feeling any better?" Seokjins soft, silky voice fills my ears but even his sweetness causes a searing pain right on my forehead. I slowly turn my head to face his spot in the driving seat, through the fog, I can make out his eyes stay trained on the road but a slight frown rests on his pale face,

"I-I'm fine," I sigh and bring my heavy hands up to rub my eyes lightly,

"Hana, you're getting sick." He retorts in a matter of face manor but u can't find it in myself to argue with him. He's right, I am getting sick, no matter how much I try to convince myself that maybe it's just side effects of tiredness and hunger, it's pretty easy to see that I have deteriorated ever since we left that damned highway, almost six hours ago now.

"Hey, we going to stop to get you some medicine soon okay? just hang in there,"

My eyes snap open again, "no....no we can't stop I'll be fine,". I choke out a cough and straighten myself up with all the energy I can manage at this very moment. That red-hot rush appears again but I push through.

"Hana-"

"Please, if we stop we are risking another.....another person."

And that's that. He stays silent but that frown only deepens as he glances every minute as if he's afraid I'll just pass away in his passenger seat. He's not looking too hot himself, his once-youthful cheeks are paler, not as rounded as they were just a couple of days ago. His eyes are glossed over, distant. He has been driving for hours to a destination that remains unknown to us, of course, we know where we are going, but deep down that hope I had is slowly draining and draining, leaving my mind as limp and lifeless as I feel.

Maybe that's how he feels too, Maybe that's how we are all feeling.

"How much longer now?" I question to break the tension slowly overcoming us, leaning over the armrests between us to glance over at the map laying across the dash.

"Five hours if we are lucky," he pauses and swallows. My hazy eyes search his face amid his silence, his brows furrow deeply and his lips part slightly, his tongue dips out to wet them. "You know it's not your fault right?"

"What?"

"Rina, Jongin," he softly whispers and my lips can only pull into a small o shape. my chest hurts with a heavy sinking feeling at the sound of their names, the sight of their faces, the sound of their voices.

"I know you've put it on yourself to protect us but you can't, I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but it's the truth." He looks at me, hesitant. "You can't take care of ten people and look out for yourself, you're not a superhero." He finishes, quietly, like he's afraid of the words coming from his mouth.

"I know." My response is just as quiet and he smiles tightly, nodding his head as he remains silent.

I know, I have known, that I can't constantly make sure that many people are close, are secure at all times without neglecting something, or someone really but the truth of the matter is that I would rather neglect myself than let another person slip through the cracks. I can appreciate what he's saying and I know there's truth to that deep down, but I can't help but feel responsible for them all. I can't help but feel like my friends would be alive-

"Fuck!"

My body flies towards the sound of rubber screeching against the tarmac beneath us. I reach my arms out to brace myself against the dash before I can hit it full force but it's no use in my weakened state and my body collides with the solid plastic. Pain radiates through my ribs and my breath hitches, almost choking me out in mere seconds. The coughs wrack my body as the pain slowly creeps to my lungs, and then to my stomach.

"What the fuck Jin!" Jimins voice fills my ears causing me to wince, my eyes screwing shut as more and more voices join the crusade against our driver. The shouts get louder and louder as the camper breaks into hell and sets it all loose into the confined space, with no way to escape it.

I manage to pull myself back into my chair, one hand clinging to the armrest, the other placed gently over what will be bruised ribs to try and soothe the area.  the pain pumping through my whole body has me gasping, my eyes tightly screwed closed.

"Can you shut the fuck up for once in your life?" Lisa's voice rings louder than the rest, her sass enlaced with the rich smoothness that takes over her usually light voice when her intense emotions get the better of her,

"Excuse me?" Jackson responds lowly, she scoffs at him and the rest of the boys fall silent at her booming voice, the one that shakes even the biggest of toughest men to their core.

"Yeah you heard, you've been nothing but a bitch this whole fucking time and I've had it up to here with trying to be considerate y'know, considering half of our fucking friends are dead!" she looks off to the side, he tongue poking her cheek as she laughs in almost disbelief, "without that girl we would all be dead, we all fucking know it."

"Lisa-"

"fuck you, Jacks."

everyone stares in awe as she moves towards the small yellowing door, she reaches for the handle but her hand can barely brush the handle before the man beside me immediately jumps from the driving seat, practically diving over the back of the leathered headrest. he slams his hand into the door, slamming the little gap she had open shut.

"what are you doing-"

There's a thump. and then another. and then another. my head turns slowly to where the sounds seem to be coming from.

"shit."

"yeah. shit."

*-*-*

short filler chapter just to get my brain moving again :)