Lovers

Lullabies

This chapter is brought to you by the night I had to sing to the little girl I babysit for so long before she would go to bed (and I secretly had a great time). Hahaha. I quite like this chapter and hope you all do too! If you know all of the songs I reference in here- you're my favorite. Enjoy/comment/vote xxx
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July 30, 2028

Patrick

"Alright baby girl," I say, drying my daughter off from her bath while Harper laughs as Millie's hair gets all messed up. "Time to go night night."

I hand the little one to Harper, who dresses our daughter in her pyjamas, then starts her story and song ritual. She loves Sunday nights, becuase they're the one evening that she gets to do bedtime with Madeline.

After reading Goodnight Moon, Harper stands up and holds Millie against her chest, bouncing her up and down slightly in an attempt to rock her to sleep.

"Do you want to sing, baby girl?"

I laugh a bit, standing in the doorway and peering in at the special time between my two favourite girls. "I think Mummy likes singing more than Millie at this point."

"Don't be fooled, she has it figured out that I will sit in her room and sing Disney songs with her for as long as she'd like so long as it keeps her from crying."

I roll my eyes. "You'd better fix that habit soon. You've got to put down your foot at some point."

"It's fine, ten minutes less of sleep isn't going to hurt her, I promise."

I raise my eyebrows. "Interesting that you're implying that it only takes ten minutes, when a few weeks ago, I couldn't find you for an hour until I realized you were off singing Mary Poppins songs with our newborn child."

"I need her to develop a proper taste in music, P," she tells me with a cheeky smile. "What if I don't sing to her, and then she grows up and decides she likes screamo... or, like, rap music that's all about sex and drugs?"

I roll my eyes. "Oh, excuse me, you're such a hero of the family for singing your favourite music to our daughter while she's supposed to be asleep." I'm just teasing Harper, and she knows it, but there's also an underlying annoyance in my voice.

Harper lets out a giggle and walks over to kiss me on the cheek. "Deep breath, P. It's all going to be okay." Then, she turns her attention back to Madeline.

I listen as her sweet soprano sings to the baby girl, who is falling asleep in her arms.

"There is a castle on a cloud, I like to go there in my sleep. Aren't any floors for me to sweep, not in my castle on a cloud."

After that song, Harper keeps going through what seems to be her entire repertoire of lullabies. I don't understand how she keeps the words straight to all of them.

"Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember. And a song, someone sings, once upon a December."

"Early each day, to the steps of St. Paul's, the little old bird woman comes. In her own special way, to the people she calls, come buy my bag full of crumbs."

"Where the north wind meets the sea, there's a river full of memory. Sleep my darling, safe and sound. For in this river, all is found."

It goes on and on like this for quite some time.

Eventually, Harper places Millie in her crib, then turns out the light and leaves the room.

"That was over half an hour of singing," I inform her, as the two of us walk towards our bedroom.

"What, do you not sing to her on every other night of the week?"

"Not really," I admit.

"Oh my god, P, no wonder she likes it when I sing with her."

"I just don't know songs for little ones the way you do," I admit.

"You've got to at least know nursery rhymes."

"Well, I do, but I feel lame compared to the singing ritual that you have with her," I admit to my wife, shoving my hands in my pockets and staring at the ground. "I've always thought that it was your thing with her, and I didn't want to intrude on it. You don't get a lot of special time with her, not in the way that I do."

Harper bites her lip and sits down on the edge of our bed. "Honestly, I feel awful about never being here during the special bonding moments at bedtime. That's why I always take so long with her when I get to put her to bed. It's like I'm trying to make up for the week of time that I missed."

When both of us realize that the other has these feelings, the dynamic shifts. I'm no longer annoyed with Harper for keeping Millie up late once I realize her motivations to do so. She's no longer shocked that I don't sing with the little girl.

"Let's make a deal," I say, sitting down next to my wife and placing my hand on her thigh. "I'll start singing with Mills at bedtime every night, if you limit it to five songs and start her bedtime routine ten minutes early on your night, okay? I want to make sure that she gets her sleep so that she's growing and healthy, and we can't control when she wakes up in the morning, but we can control her bedtime in the evening. Does that sound fair?"

Harper nods. "I think that sounds awesome."

She rests her head on my shoulder, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders. "I love you," Harper tells me. "I don't know if I've said that enough recently."

"You've had plenty of things on your mind, darling. I don't know how you do it. Truly."

She lets out a sigh. "I wonder the same thing every now and then."

I place a kiss on the top of her head. "Well, you are doing it with beautiful elegance, and you are setting the absolute best example, not just for our little girl, but all of the little girls around the world who are watching you, a new mum who is doing both her job as being a mum, and on that West End stage. If that doesn't show that anything is possible with enough determination and hard work, then I don't know what does."

"I'm so thankful for you, Patrick. Seriously. I know that I say it a lot, but I could never say it enough."

"I don't know what I would do without you. Having you by my side for the rest of my life is better than any amount of times that you could say it."