Part Of Your World | H.S.

I always think about you and how we don't speak enough

"It was your idea to just show up at his doorstep", Harry said to me the next day, when we were parked in front of my dad's new house on the outskirts of London in a quieter, more homey area than the one where our old flat was that he had lived in until a year ago. From the outside, it looked like every other house on the street, cozy, safe, family-friendly. When I had asked Katie for the address, she didn't believe I'd really make Harry drive me there, but here I was, sitting in his car in the passenger seat, staring out the window to the inconspicuous front door. "You could have called him beforehand!"

"And then what? What do you say to someone you haven't talk to in three years?", I fired back, knowing d*mn well I had put myself in this nerve-wracking situation on my own. It was a similar situation to the one we had experienced yesterday. I tended to make big plans and when they should finally come to realization, I usually got scared. Which is also, why we had been standing on the side of the road for the past fifteen minutes and I had no intention to get out of the car anytime soon. "Hi, do you mind me stopping by? I'm in London for exactly one more day and if you don't have time for me, I'll probably never try again? No, at least this way he can't get rid of me."

"He can't get rid of you if you never even knock on his door", Harry stated, chuckling. For him, it was probably no surprise that I chickened out last minute. It was already in the afternoon, because I had procrastinated the whole morning before making the decision of showing up at his doorstep. After an incredibly peaceful, but much needed night sleep, Harry had made us a delicious breakfast and an even better lunch, which made me want to stay at his place as long as possible, but I knew that I couldn't. It was face your demons time, for real today. "Or even get out of my car."

"Alright, I know", I gave in, because, as always, Harry was right. And I didn't know when I'd ever be in London again. I didn't think it would be soon and before I'd never even get the chance to talk to him ever again, I wanted to use the opportunity. The only problem was I was too nervous to go alone. With shaky hands and a dry mouth, I unbuckled the seatbelt and stepped out of the car. But instead of making my way to the door straight away, I poked my head back inside. "You sure you don't wanna casually tag along, you know? You've already met Katie."

"Jessica, this is your dad we're talking about, not your twenty-something year old cousin. That's a family reunion I wouldn't like to be apart of and as much as I'd like to be there for you, you gotta do this on your own", Harry said and my heart dropped at the sound of him saying my full name in such a serious context, causing me to just stare at him for a few seconds. When he noticed my frozen face, he chuckled. „What? Why are you looking at me like that? Be courageous! Face your fears!"

"That sounds like the message to a great song", I joked, pointing my fingers at him like a motivational speaker. I appreciated him driving me there, I didn't really expect from him to come with me. But even more so I didn't expect my dad to be pleasantly surprised when I would drag this random dude along, because for him, he really was a random dude. Still, I felt bad for leaving him outside. Harry rolled his eyes, knowing I was just playing for time. "Okay, okay. But if it goes decently, I'm coming to get you. You cannot wait in the car the whole afternoon."

"We'll see about that", Harry said with a slight smirk, using my own words from two days ago.  With an annoyed expression, I now finally stepped away from the car. I had a purse with me, that I plunged to nervously as if it was in any way saving me from what I was about to do. The inconspicuous door to the house in front of me suddenly looked alarming to me and I was dangerously close to the porch. Before I could throw the car door shut, Harry gave some last words of encouragement, "Good luck!"

While I was feeling like I was flooding, detached from reality, my feet carried me up the three steps even closer to infamous door. Carter, it said on the house-bell nameplate, confirming to me that it really was the right address Katie had given me. For some reason until that moment, I had hoped she would have just given me the address to the nearest McDonalds, but nope, there was no Fast Food chain in sight. Just a beautifully arranged flowerbed that reminded me of the one Harry's mom had in her garden. I looked back at Harry, who was giving me a thumbs up, so I turned around and rang the doorbell.