Part Of Your World | H.S.

Sounds like something that I used to feel

"You look like you had to spend another night at my place", Cedar commented that very same morning about four hours after my breakdown in Harry's kitchen. Even though I fell asleep almost immediately after I went back to bed, the exhaustion from crying for hours at three am could have been seen on my face. But compared to a few days ago, my appearance didn't reflect how I was feeling. When I woke up following another hour of sleep, I had a smile on my face. It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I could finally stand straight again. There was a vulnerably in in opening up to someone that most people, including me, were scared of, but there was also a certain feeling of freedom that came along with it. 

"Well, I had about the same amount of sleep", I told him, while he tried covering up the dark spots under my eyes with a ton of concealer. We weren't in our usual setting. We were on the beach, not far away from Harry's mansion. Actually, we could have just walked here, or at least he could have. I was sitting in a folding chair in a tent, that the production team had set up, similar to when we were filming at the pavilion, but even bigger. The whole set had to be restricted, so that no residents or paparazzis could take any pictures of us and the set. It was nice to be able to watch the ocean while getting ready to shoot one of the most significant scenes of the movie.

"What kept you up?", Cedar asked me, clipping away my already curled hair that was gonna be wet in a few minutes anyway, to keep it from falling into my face. Under my robe, I was already wearing my lavender bikini top with a pair of sweatpants that would be exchanged by the fin. We were finally gonna film the second part of the ship disaster, where Ariel saves Eric from drowning and takes him to the shore. It has been awhile since we filmed the first part, where Ariel watches Eric on the ship and so much has happened ever since. Weirdly enough, when we did the first part of the scene, Harry and I were arguing because I pushed him away, this time I had actually let him in.

"Ugh, nothing really. Maybe it was the full moon, maybe just my own thoughts", I said to Cedar, as I spotted Harry walking past the tent with a plate of scones that I assumed the caterer brought especially for us two Brits. He was already in costumes, wandering around like a lost puppy. When our eyes met, I smiled at him and he gave me a smile back. I'm not gonna lie that morning I was afraid that he was gonna treat me definitely after he had seen me bawl my eyes out, I was scared that he would be weirded out, thinking of me as complete train wreck and that things were gonna be awkward between us, but as it turned out things were even better. It was like we grew eve closer, as friends.

"And that sweet roommate of yours didn't do anything to help you?", Cedar asked following my gaze to see what, or who, I was smiling at. Oh, he did help me, by listening to me, by allowing me to be honest and open, by not pressuring or questioning me about anything. Before I could answer Cedar's question, we were interrupted by our very own director, who appeared in front of the tent with a megaphone in his hand.

"Guys, we're gonna start in thirty minutes! Keep in mind that we only have this area of the beach to ourselves for a limited amount of time! Jess-", he yelled out in the megaphone for everyone to hear, but shortly after realized that I was sitting only three feet away from him and he could talk to me without screaming in my face. He held the megaphone down and took a step in my direction. "Err, sorry. Jess, how do you feel about doing the  reprise live? We feel like this could really contribute to the authenticity and raw emotions in the scene."

"Yeah, sure. I just gotta warm my voice up a little bit", I said to him confidently. I didn't have a problem singing in front of the whole crew, especially since I had managed to belt out She Used To Be Mine in an empty theatre in front of Harry, but if I was gonna do it, I was gonna do it the right way. Maybe then I could prove to everyone that there wasn't any autotune on my recordings and that I indeed deserved to play this role.