"Forget Me Not" {first published novel}

Ch. 2 ~ "Rose Thorns"

It is only when hope lets you down, your heart begins to die. For the strongest love alive, turned out to be a lie.

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Today will be a better day, I know it will. One of my best friends Ashley is coming over in an hour or so. She is also amazing. Beautiful blonde hair, big blue eyes but what I love most about her is her personality. Her ability to show her compassion to friends is incredible.

I care about her so much and I just need someone talk to at the moment. She can help me with this. Josh and I, I mean. To be completely honest, I know I should call things off between us to spare myself more pain, but I can't. Call me a dreamer, I wouldn't disagree, but I still have a little hope.

I had to call off my appointment with Dr. Chrystie today because I need real and true friends to save me right now, and a therapist can not have the same affect. That's right, I suffer from an intense case of depression.

I have done bad things in the past but my parents aren't willing to realize that what happened in the past stays in the past. Things are finally getting better though. Dr. Chrystie takes good care of me. She understands. She treats me for me, she doesn't treat me like an adult or a young child. But I need Ashley.

She understands me how a friend would, and I can tell she wants to help me even though I keep assuring her I'm fine. After all, I have my own ways to cope. I have art and writing. Art is my escape. My hideaway you could call it. I can truly express my feelings and emotion through my artwork. That is why I also love writing, I can talk about my daily issues. If people called me names because I'm so isolated, I used to cry, now I dont. I'm stronger.

You see, the big picture is, I've learned not to care what other children call me. Unrealistic, oversensitive, insane and other mean nicknames that used to bother me are just a feather on my shoulder. In grade nine, I was nicknamed 'tear-face'. That horrible blur of a grade was due to Damon Matthews.

One day, in phys. ed a week after my closest guy friend Derek Williams committed suicide, he really had to put me down and had not a single hint of sympathy for me. I mean seriously, why pick on someone who's best friend just died?

Derek blew his brains out alone in the forest of the schoolyard after school hours. It took principles and professors a week and a half to find his body covered in maggots, beetles and baby flies. It was utterly horrendous.

I was deeply saddened by his death but I was not entirely surprised. He used to talk about the afterlife all the time. Those days were the worst ones of my whole life, after he passed. I constantly had cold, blue teardrops flowing down my warm cheeks.

While I was suffering, Damon Matthews was laughing. Damon and his crew walked over in phys. ed like I mentioned before, and slowly destructed my fragile life.

"Why you cryin' tear-face?", he'd say snickering and cackling at my reaction while I would burry my head in the sleeves of my baggy hoodie.

"Hey boys, I heard the dark-haired freak show in math class got caught with a gun in his locker. Someone better fence of that forest or the amount of bugs will just keep growing! At least Williams will have a friend in hell, right?", is what spilled out of his mouth causing me to run out of the classroom in tears.

I could not handle it. I wanted to slap the life out of that asshole, but I was too afraid. I did not come to class until three weeks later. I had been skipping classes just to avoid the gossip, rumors and harassment.

I started failing all of my classes. At least now I'm somewhat on the right track. Still behind in class, still suffering depression, still have boy troubles and still get bullied but at least I've forgiven Derek for leaving me.