Heartbreak Hotel (Editing)

Chapter 64: Death In Her Eyes

"I'm all you got, girl. You ain't gon do nothin' without me. Where you gon go? What you gon be? Nothing. I'm the one who is gon teach all you need to know for when you grow up. I'm telling you right now, girl, that damn piano ain't gon get you no where, you here?" I could feel her hands on me, but I wouldn't look at her. I couldn't bring myself to. "Don't make me have to tell you this again. It's bad enough momma put all this shit in our head. Now her ass wanna go and die and leave me to fix what's been broken. You look like her, you know that don't you. You favor her some. You look like a Haughton because of that. The rest you got from your daddy. I remember him. He was a drunk. He didn't want you either. I told him I was pregnant with you and I didn't hear from his ass again. Ain't that somethin'? At least Aleena's daddy stuck around. Your's just left." She snickered. " I wish I would've never gave him this, then he wouldn't have given me you. I fell for a man with a voice....shit....you need to stay away from those honey. Especially them mixed ones. They maybe cute, but they ain't no better than a hoe."

I felt her finger tips curl under my chin, pulling my head so that I could look at her. " What would you do if I had died?"She asked faintly. "I tell what you would do. Nothing. Nothing at all. 'Cause you ain't nothin' without me. Nothing at all. You need me. So if you wanna keep me, stay away from that damned church!"She hissed through her teeth. "Go! Melvin will be here in a minute. Get outta here."

I wasted no time jumping from the couch and heading towards the room I shared with Leena. It was empty. She was not home yet. I climbed unto the bed we shared together and tried to push away what she had just told me. Her voice echoed through my head ' You ain't nothin' without me..' I believed her. I wasn't. I was just a little girl. What was I supposed to be? All I knew was this. All I knew was her..and Melvin. Leena had disappeared on her own will. She wasn't coming back. She was there but she wasn't. Like the wanted presence of a lost loved one. She had died in my world. Even though it was her hands that combed my hair everyday, and her voice that told me when I was doing something wrong, she was not there. She was just an empty carcass.

My journal was sitting right next to my leg, slightly hidden under a bundle of white sheets. Mrs. Diane had given it to me just a few months before. It was thick with a red leather covering that had little swirl stitchings. i began running my small hand across the lining before I opened it to one of the pages. I looked around the messy room in search of a pen. I turned to the bed side table and pulled out the drawer. It was filled with papers. I began to look through it I felt my fingers come across one that felt like one. I pulled it to see that it was a blue ink pen. I hated writing in blue ink, or any other colored ink that wasn't black. I threw it aside and began my search for another one."Hey, girl."

I jumped as fear struckmy heart again, causing it to beat a thousands beats per minute. I looked up horrified to see Melvin standing in the doorway with Leena standing next to him. There was a slightly apologetic look on her face youthful face. I thought for a moment it was because he had scared me half to death, but there was something else there. Fear? Hurt? Sympathy? What was there? It was hard for me to tell. I took my attention off of her and looked at him."Huh?"

He had a weird look on his face. His lips were in a weird devilish looking smirk plastered upon his face. I was too confused to be scared at that moment. I watched as he told Leena to leave the room. I instantly became scared after seeing that because I thought Danielle had told him about me going to that church after I was told not to. i thought I was about to get a spanking. I thought that he was about to whip out his belt and beat me with it. I remembering feeling the tears build up in my eyes.