Her Hater

Her Hater | 53

        If you can't remember, we've met the first time on our comeback promotions. It happened that you're in that room where I'm clearly finding something my hyungs told me to find in that room. You asked me who am I but I didn't answer and just quickly ran away. The truth behind that is, I'm actually fascinated by your stare. I don't know why I am but I clearly am.

        That day I also knew that my hyungs just fooled me and there's nothing really to find in that room. They just want us to meet. I'm so angry at them that I didn't talk to them for so long. A week, maybe? Hahaha, that's so immature of me but I actually did.

        You didn't bother my mind after that but when your group came back with a new album 'Square Up', Hobi hyung didn't stop bothering me with your name.

        There are times that he even brought a question which made me choose between you and Tzuyu. I picked Tzuyu several times just to shut him up but he didn't stop.

        He even told me one time that he knows me too well, he told me that I'm just indenial to myself, he told me that I'm picking you inside while talking about Tzuyu outside. That seems so light, right? But I got annoyed from those things, I didn't understand his point and got angry at him. That time, I was too fragile that I don't want anyone to dictate what I'm feeling or what my feelings truly are 'cause the fact that I am myself, I should know better than anyone else.

        That is the time, I decided to hate you for no reason, I started to think of Tzuyu more often, I'm really convincing myself that I have something for her back then. I'm so dumb that I had to lie myself just to prove that nobody knows me better other than myself.

        I started to act that I really hate you when in fact, I had no reasons to hate you at all, I'm even lying to myself from whatever I'm saying. Saying whatever you do is just an okay, but I know it's different from anyone else. I know you're much more of the others.

       Tzuyu's not really my cup of taste. I'm just trying if I can actually fall for her to really hate you but I can't. No matter how much I force myself, I can't see my future with her. I can't see myself being married and having children with her.

       The day I dropped the comment which resulted to a massive hate towards you, I felt guilty but I had no choice, I can't take it back. My pride won't go that low to even delete what I commented on your picture. It's just too immature and childish of me.

      But every guilt came to my senses when I saw how you got affected by the massive hate, and the fact that you had an injury but still you did your best, 'cause you're so afraid that the backlash towards you gets worse. I'm really sorry for you.

       I felt like my pride's too immature, so am I, so I decided to make it up to you. I tried to easen up the things for you.

      The time we got caught by dispatch, that's also the time I told myself to man up, I'd do anything for you. I realized that what Hobi hyung always tell me is true, I'm indenial of my feelings. I'm falling for you.

      I realized that even how many times I tried to hate on you, I'm also hurting. I can't see you in pain, I can't see you crying, I can't handle my feelings when I see you bursting your tears because of something.

      No matter how hard I try, you'll always be the girl I can imagine I'm having a marriage and family with.

      I erased the thoughts of hating you and focused on something which can make you happy and it's the best decision I've made in my life.

      I love you, Lisa. The best girl in the world. Happy birthday, mi amor. Je t'aime.

The hater who admires you,

Jungkook.

P.S. I know you're also fascinated by me the fact that you always wait for our comeback. Your co-members told me ;)

P.P.S. I also know that you spent hours watching our dance practice of Fake Love, just to see my abs. ;)

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Why do you have to be like this, Jk?

Because of this letter, I feel the urge to hug you. “Bunny, I love you,” I uttered to myself.

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Side note: To our pride, Lisa! I love you so much! You've been a dreamer, now you're an achiever. Continue to bring inspirations towards everyone. Happy Lalisa Day!