Heechuls Wife

Recovery

It was clear to say the couple had taken a break off of work after hearing the news of their child's death, and throughout that time there was a cloud of depression submerging over the married couple. Of course Heechul tried to act happy for his wife's sake, but nothing could anguish the pain they had felt since that day. Life was taken for granted in most cases and now Diana had fallen into the trap of blaming herself for maybe not eating enough, drinking enough. Her body was now a nightmare, as Diana felt at fault. What if she could've prevented on of her babies dying? What if she killed it without realising? What if this, what if that. For once Diana couldn't smile, even when so many of her friends came and visited and comforted her. Of course she was extremely grateful towards them and yet she was unable to give them a flicker of a smile. No, instead she usually ended up excusing herself and going to the toilet to cry. Fortunately Heechul had took control of the media ; explaining everything and how they were even married. HE came clean to the media about losing a child as well despite that being so private, so instead of backlash and hate from fans they mainly received lots of love. The online world can be both damaging, and helpful. Now Diana was using it to help her cope with this loss as it was a major struggle she hadn't ever dreamed of feeling. 

Curled up on their bed with a thick blanket around her , Diana wiped away her fresh tears now covering the old stain marks. Very gently she placed a hand on her more apparent bump, "I promise on my life that a single day wont go by where i don't think of your sibling." She whispered, her voice quite hoarse due to the amount of times she had cried already. Swallowing back another load of emotions, forcing herself out of the tsunami about to drown and consume her. "I love you all, and i promise to keep you two together. You'll have such an amazing life, i hope you'll always be happy and find love. I don't mind who you fall in love with, whether they're the same sex as you or not. That doesn't matter. T-the only thing that matters is your health a-and happiness. i-if you are hap-py so am I." Diana felt her lip start to wobble but she tried to hold back her tears. Taking deep breaths as she usual would when a wave of nausea or anxiety was about to hit, she reached out and grabbed her phone. Her thumb print unlocked it and lead her onto the home screen where she clicked onto an app that connects woman from all around the world to talk about similar problems. In an aspect that was therapy online, but not from anyone in the medical  field, but from women who had also miscarried in the past few weeks. it was a source of comfort that allowed Diana to no longer feel like she was suffering alone. It sometimes distracted her as she would give advice to others and help them. Of course she didn't use her real name, but instead a fake nickname.

Entering the chat Diana waited to see if anyone else had the online icon before starting to type up what had happened so far in her morning. 'Hey guys, I hope you've all eaten and slept well. I'm not doing so great myself this morning. I guess its all just piling up and I keep thinking that if I knew I was having triplets, then maybe it could've been prevented? I know its wrong because it was all of natural causes, but there's that small voice nagging at me constantly. It wont leave me and blames me for it all. Today I haven't even managed to leave my bed, lets not even mention my amount of crying. Everyone says to look at the positives and all blessings in my life and yes i'm extremely lucky! I've got a loving husband and now two healthy babies in me,yet its like i'm missing a part of me I didn't even know I had. Have any of you ever experienced this? If so i'd be really grateful if I can get some tips on how to stay positive! xx!' Biting her nails, Diana waited in hope that maybe someone would hear out her desperate seek for advice. Even if she was getting the help she needed, Diana couldn't help but feel a bit selfish. Being entranced at staring into the device to try almost speed up the process of someone typing she hadn't acknowledged the presence in her bedroom, until she felt the bed shift slightly with some added weight and some arms circle over her shoulders. Subconsciously Diana lent against her husbands slender figure, dropping her phone so it was faced down against the bed. "Heechul." She barely whispered, her small hand gently gripping a part of his shirt. "How are you?"  Sometimes people didn't acknowledge that the dad would also become quite repressed from the loss of their unborn child. Placing his head against her neck he let out a small sigh,"Better than you, i can say that." That was when he remembered Diana complaining about some tension and pain in her shoulders, so he brought his hands up and started to give her a small massage. "Despite not physically losing a baby, i understand how it is. Baby please when you're ready, speak to me, i'll be there to listen." It seemed Heechul had became a lot softer and less jokey around Diana as he felt it'd be a lot easier for her to cope that way.