The Angel's Kiss (TayNew and J9) boyxboy

Chapter 22: "Unlocking Secrets"

"Don't give up now..." It was Ben. "They opened their chakra already... and I know you are thinking of erasing their memories...but with their chakra already been accessed you cannot erase their instinct. They might forget about you but they will live their lives knowing something is wrong... that is worse than forgetting..."

"How sure you are that they will feel that way?" Nine asked. Ben sat down next to Nine and stared at nowhere.

"Coz I asked my memories to be erased..."

"Why would you do that?" I asked. Thou I have a feeling that the answer might be because of Nine.

"Coz sometimes forgetting is the only chance of survival..."

"Ben..." Nine said in a very small voice.

"It's okay... I forgot about you for a while...but even when I forgot about you...my feelings won't just go away...I always feel something deep inside me...perhaps longing or being incomplete that's haunting me..."

"How come you remember everything then?" I asked.

"When I and Luke go on our spate ways, that's when I decided to erase my memories... For years I was clueless to what I'm longing for, until I started to search for answers, to search the truth...you see erasing my memory is useless coz I end up seeking for the things I chose to forget. I end up in the training camp of Aom and Xian's siblings. They knew what I was looking for but they made sure that it was my own decision to bring it all back...." He answered.

"So, they brought back your memories?" I asked.

"Yes..." He looked at Nine intently while my best friend keot his eyes on the ground. "And I remembered Nine... I remembered everything..." Ben whispered and got up. "So, don't give up on them...don't give up on what you have..." he said and exited the gate.

"He is such a great guy..." I said. Nine looked up filled with guilt.

"He is...and I wish he can find someone who deserves the love that he can offer." He said.

"He will...just give him the time to move on..."

"how can he if he always sees me..."

"Nine, we all have our own way to move on... maybe this is Ben's way to move on...maybe he needed to see you that you are really happy with Joong... maybe he needed to see the truthfulness of your love for Joong..."

"I hope your are right..." He said and stared blankly to nowhere. "How about you and Luke?" He asked. I never opened about Luke after our supposed to be date.

"Luke..." I said. "I am thankful for the help he is giving. I know how much I mean to him and even if he hated Tay so much he always makes me his priority."

"And how does that make you feel?" Nine asked. I contemplated what I am feeling for Luke. He was my first love, my very best friend that I shared my life with. I loved him back then and when he left I thought I wouldn't't be able to recover from the pain. For many years, I closed and locked my heart from love. I chose to ignore any attraction I felt from anyone. But when I met Tay everything changes. I feel my entire soul being drawn to him. "Luke will remain in my past..." I said.

"Were you ever got confused when Luke comeback?" Nine asked.

"No..." And that was my straight honest answer. : "When I saw him again, I felt anger and to be honest betrayed. But Xian explained everything why he wanted to help."

"Did he come back to win you again?"

"He tried... but before he can even have hope I made it clear already that I have no feeling left for him or will I ever fall for him again. I made sure that Tay is the only one for me... and I'm aware that him and Tay will never be friends or will be in good terms..."

"But he is still here helping them out in their training. He is still here and didn't ran to the council to tell everything that had been happening to us... he chose to be on our side..." Nine said.

"And for that I will be forever thankful. But I can't give him more than what he is expecting and I'm sure he knows that now, If there's something I can offer him in return is the family that we have. He will always be welcome in our family and if everything will be in good terms I will make sure that Tay will accept him as well." I answered.

"And that is something I can give Ben as well..."

"Stop feeling guilty Nine. It's their choice to help. It's their own will to whatever reasons they have. They are helping us even though we are no longer in love with them."

"And isn't that what love really is? To give something without expecting in return? To sacrifice your own happiness to make the other person be happy and free? If that is what love is why are we still doing this to Joong and Tay? They can always move on and find happiness with another person without all the danger that we have..." He is filled with agony and confusion that it hurts me to see my best friend go through this. Most of the time Nine was the stronger one emotionally between us. He is the more confident one in terms of decision making. He is always sure of himself and it hurts me to see him go through this.

"Nine, sometimes love needs to be selfish, it needs to be stubborn. It doesn't need to always be a sacrifice, because love deserves to be held tight and it is always worth fighting for. This is the time for us to be stronger for them. This is the time for our love to be greater than our fear."

"And for how long will they endure this torture just to be with us New? How long will we be putting them in danger?" he asked looking blankly.

"I don't have answers for that Nine...this is killing me as well, to see Tay almost lifeless tonight, it's as if a certain part of soul was sucked out of mine... but he fought hard knowing the risk in his life... I will not abandon him... I know how it feels to be left behind and I won't do that to him." I answered.

"If they get better...if they wake up...what is next?" He looked at me lost.

"I was thinking of sending them to that training camp Xian and Aom were talking about... perhaps after this semester... and we will need to find someone who can cut off our wings" Nine looked at me intently.

"Are we ready for that?"

"Are you ready to live an eternity without Joong?"

"No..."

"Then being ready is not an option for us..." He nodded.

I heard footsteps coming from the stairs. "They are awake" It was Xian.