Be Mine? || Harry Styles

Chapter 18

"Yes."

Yes. Yes. Yes. A million times yes.

I let out a sigh of relief as Harry pulled me in closer.

"I hate to interrupt but what do you guys want to eat?"

Harry looked down at me, his gaze intense.

"What would you like baby?"

"I don't mind."

Harry sighed and looked up at Gemma.

"Whatever you want is fine Gem."

"In that case, pizza."

"Sure." He muttered.

When we pulled into a Dominos parking lot, Gem climbed out to go get the pizza and Harry and I stayed in the back seat wrapped up in each other. He was so confusing but I didn't care anymore. By this point, I only wanted him and I didn't care what the consequences were. I felt like I could give almost anything up for him in this moment. I felt so drawn to him.

"You are going to have to help me with this, us being together. I haven't had a real relationship. I only fucked girls for the thrill of it. None of them were mine."

A visible shudder ran through my body and I winced at his words. It pained me to know that Harry had been with other girls. Of course he has. I shouldn't have surprised me in the least.

"You've never fucked...I mean slept with anyone, have you?"

"No Harry."

He looked down at my hand, playing with my fingers.

"I like that." He whispered.

"Like that I'm a virgin?"

"I've never been with a virgin. Grace this is going to sound bad but I want you to know the truth, okay?"

I nodded, urging him to continue.

"I went through a really hard time back in England and I used to sleep with a lot of girls. I had moved out of my mum's place during this time. I would bring them to my apartment, fuck them and then they would leave me. There was nothing romantic involved. I would always ask them if they were a virgin because I didn't want to put up with the emotional burden of taking someone's virginity as a one night stand. One girl admitted that she was a virgin and I made her leave."

Harry carefully looked into my eyes, very slowly.

"That was a while back Grace. I moved back in with my mum who made me get tested for every disease under the sun and she started putting me into therapy. Nothing worked at first. I was still a ball of anger but then I met Dr. Rollins and she helped me so much. I think it was me that changed though. I give Dr. Rollins all of the credit because she's amazing but I think that it was me that was finally ready to get better. I didn't want that life anymore. Dr. Rollins encouraged the move here because she wanted me to get away from the bad influences I had in England."

"Bad influences?"

"Yes Grace. The people I hung out with had a direct connection to drugs, alcohol, parties, you name it."

"You were on drugs?" I asked, shocked.

"Yes Grace I was. Not for long. I tried a few different kinds but I didn't like the feeling. So then I started smoking cigarettes. I'm still kind of trying to stop those. I would never do drugs again."

"You're an alcoholic, aren't you?"

"Yes. Recovering, but yes Grace, I am."

I sighed, shaking my head at this beautiful broken boy.