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lathan
"i was raised around gangsta's, fell in love with danger"
"deep up in these streets might have to fall in love with strangers"
g herbo's party in heaven blasted throughout karla's house.
there were a whole bunch of people here but i wasn't really worried about anybody but laila. i texted her earlier but she didn't reply.
i'm starting to think she has an attitude with me and i wanna know why, but knowing her, who knows if she'll speak up.
it's not like i did anything to her, maybe this is just one of her temper tantrums like always.
being with her kind of made me realize she's really sensitive. she likes to be up under me all the time and i don't really know i felt about it.
it's not like i'm complaining about it because i love her company just as much as she loves mine but it can get overwhelming sometimes when i have shit to do.
it's not like i wanted to leave earlier because i didn't but i needed to make a couple of sales and help out neek and karla like i promised.
i guess that was my fault though for not really telling her the full honest truth. she's oblivious to the fact that i'm dealing, and i wanna keep it that way.
she doesn't need to be worried about me, the last thing i would want to do is stress her out so it was just in her best interest to not know.
karla popped open a bottle of patron and poured herself a shot.
"what's wrong? you seem down?" she said talking a little loud because of the loud music, while she narrowed her eyes at me.
karla was always looking out for me, we matched energy, whenever i was down she would notice, and vice versa.
i shrugged my shoulders while i broke up some weed on karla's pink rolling tray. i glanced around the room seeing a bunch of people walking back and forth between the hallways and then some before i looked over at her.
"my mental just heavy that's all" i said with a small shrug biting down on my bottom lip.
i haven't spoken to my dad in over a month and i was breaking little by little as the days passed by.
him saying he's disappointed in me replayed in my mind everyday, every second, every minute.
i really feel like i failed as a child. no kid wants to feel like they didn't make their parent proud. and to hear that i didn't make mine proud made me upset.
at times like this i wished i had my mom here. she would know what to do for sure. she wasn't all there in the head granted but she was a good ass mom.
