bitter | e.d

| thirty

I tend to make bad decisions quite often.

getting on andrew's bad side,

trying to force grayson to have sex with me,

taking beer to the football game—that one led to especially bad consequences.

without ever meaning to, I make plenty of bad decisions. but I don't think I've ever made one as stupid as what I just did today.

I watch as people begin to board the bus again since the rest stop is over. my eyes are stuck on the ground, and when I see a pair of sneakers stop in the passageway, I know it's jack. I move my legs to the side to let him slip into his seat next to me, but my eyes aren't focused on him. they're shifted a few rows ahead of us to that dark head of unruly hair that I was sitting next to not too long ago.

I faintly hear all the voices of the conversations going on around me but find it easy to drown it out. reaching down into my drawstring bag, I grab a piece of minty gum and stick it in my mouth. maybe the gum will occupy me enough to think less.

jack continues to get settled in his seat while taking out his phone, and I stare mindlessly into space as I try to wrap my head around what occurred not even five minutes ago.

I changed everything.

___

HALF AN HOUR EARLIER
EVIE'S POV

I push the door of the men's bathroom open without hesitation.

my body seems to be moving out of it's own will. I still feel the tightness in my jaw and my body flushed hot, and I don't know why I'm so irritated. all I know is the logical part of my brain isn't calling the shots right now; my emotions are.

it isn't until I'm on the other side of the door and I see ethan leaning against the back wall on his phone that all the self-doubt and absolute regret start to kick in. I quickly start feeling the anger fade and get replaced by an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I begin to question what I'm even doing in here. I don't have a plan. I don't know what I'm going to say to him. it isn't like I can tell him not to have sex with lana; that isn't my place.

I suddenly feel his eyes on me, and my mouth goes dry. too late to turn around now. I swallow and make eye contact, and I can tell immediately he was not expecting to see me here.

"you do know this is the men's bathroom, right?" he says while slipping his phone in the pocket of his sweatpants, then crossing his arms. "you know, in case the urinals didn't give it away."

his face makes it easy for me to feel irritated again.

I jump up onto the counter to sit, crossing my ankles and ignoring his comment. "lana's buying extra large condoms in front of our entire senior class right now."

he gives me a confused look, but doesn't say anything.

"just thought you should know she's practically broadcasting that she's going to have sex, since you two are a thing and whatnot." I keep my tone light, not sounding bothered at all. "at first, I thought the condoms were for you except she's buying extra-large condoms so that can't be right..."

he pushes himself off the wall now and steps in front of me. even sitting on the counter, I'm not as tall as him. "you don't have anything better to do than keep tabs on my sex life?"

his proximity to me makes my breathing go unsteady. it's like he's trapping me with his body. he's so intimidating. "it isn't my fault she made your sex life my business and asked for my help getting you condoms."