bitter | e.d

| thirteen

"can I have the cobb salad?" I ask the lunch lady behind the glass. she nods, quickly grabbing the pre-packaged salad and handing it to me without even a glance as she takes the next person's order. I just place the salad on my tray next to my chocolate chip muffin and move on.

ever since this morning, my mind hasn't been fully invested in what's happening around me. I just keep feeling this heat flare up in my chest when I envision ethan kissing that girl and it makes me more and more determined to make him feel the same way. there's no way I'm letting him get to me.

and I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize that the key to making him realize he wants me is through jealousy. he'll see me with someone else and that'll make him feel at least something towards me. right now, I'm still just a sexual motivation and goal of his and not anywhere near his heart.

I walk up to the cafetorium where all the tables are, with my tray in hand and make my way to where I sit. I see ethan sitting in his usual spot, arms folded across the table as he talks to jack. when he sees me, though, a small smile forms on his lips as he pulls the empty chair next to him out, preparing it for me.

only, I'm not going to sit next to him.

I'm taking the opportunity to milk the heck out of this. he needs to think he's done something wrong or hurt me in some way so that he feels bad and tries to make it up to me. maybe then he'll stop seeing other girls already.

also, I'm not going to blatantly forgive him and make it that easy. I actually have self-respect. that's the sort of thing that drives guys crazy.

well, that's what all the movies these days make it seem like. confidence is hot.

ethan's eyes never leave me as he waits for me expectantly. but when I reach his table, I give him a sarcastic grin and walk straight past all of them. instead, I go to my table with reese and julian.

they're in the middle of a conversation when I get there and they stop talking to look at me in a confused manner. I set my tray down and sit in my usual chair, acting as nonchalant as possible. when I get the chance, I glance at ethan and find him looking at me with furrowed eyebrows, as if to say what are you doing over there?

"evie, what are you doing here?" reese asks me, drawing my focus to her instead. she looks lost but pleasantly surprised at me joining them for lunch.

I open the plastic lid of my salad and speak in a low voice. "don't worry, I know what I'm doing. I'll explain in a second." ethan is still watching me, so I don't want to say it now just to be safe.

she nods, glancing behind her for a quick moment. "is this about what happened in the hallway this morning?"

man, shit spreads fast around here. it's only halfway through the day.

I keep my eyes in front of me, on her and julian. "yes." I can't elaborate much further yet. she just returns to eating and everything seems completely normal. good.

I grab my fork and stick it into my salad, making sure to get a piece of avocado. my mouth is watering before my fork even reaches it. I didn't have breakfast this morning because I had to rush out earlier than usual, so I've been starving. my mom and andrew were getting it on in their bedroom next to mine thinking I can't hear them.

the walls are unfortunately thin.

anyway, I was gonna vomit if I stayed another second, so breakfast sadly had to be skipped.

"I think we can talk now," julian informs me after having checked behind him. "and it's not like he can hear us anyway. he's like three tables away." julian slouches back in his chair and takes a sip from his blue gatorade.