bitter | e.d

| eleven

MONDAY
EVIE'S POV

my hand holds the cold metal door, slamming my locker shut.

"a month into school and already my grades have gone to shit." I sigh. "but there are more important things in the world than a fucking letter."

julian, who's leaning against the adjacent locker, pushes himself off and grins at me. I give him a confused grin back, both of us holding a moment of eye contact.

"what?" I ask him, and he just shakes his head and laughs softly while looking down to the ground. I lightly push his shoulder. "jul, what is it?"

he lifts his head now. "nothing, nothing. I've just missed you." he pauses again. "and your I don't give a shit attitude."

I cross my arms and look at him skeptically. "we hang out practically every day. I don't get what you mean."

we start walking side by side towards the exit of the school. "well, yeah, we still hang out. but all you do is talk strategy with reese the whole time. not to mention you ditched us for lunch." he sticks his hands in the pockets of his jean hoodie.

I feel the tiniest sting in my heart. he does have a point.

for over a week now, I've been eating lunch with ethan and his friends everyday. but it's not like I can just go back to my table with reese and julian; ethan made me a part of his table. and I have to run with it because it's a way for me to get closer to him.

"julian, I have to eat lunch with him. he wants me to. and I didn't mean to ditch you guys." I speak in a careful voice, so as to sound more sincere. "you know I would much rather sit with you and reese than with ethan's friends."

he understandingly nods. "fine, I get that. I'll get over it. but what about the fact that his name is all that comes out of your mouth? if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were obsessed."

I don't respond for a few moments; neither does he. but I know I'm in the wrong. "I guess that is all I talk about now, isn't it?" I deadpan.

"hell yeah. I get it that you guys gotta talk, but goddamn every conversation we always bring up his ass." his words come out with a slightly bitter edge to them.

I feel bad. how messed up of me to be talking about ethan pretty much everyday and every conversation when julian hates his guts. the fact that julian went so many days listening to our crap and just bit his tongue for my sake makes me feel horrible.

we get to the main doors of the school and push on the handle to open them. the parking lot is swarming with students leaving for the day, just like us.

as we make our way to my car, I nudge his arm with my elbow. "I really suck as a friend. I'm sorry." my eyes travel up to his, but he's watching the pavement as we walk.

"nah, don't feel bad about it. I just wanted you to know." he speaks gently to me. "and you aren't a sucky friend. you think I'd still have you around if you were?"

I smile. "you make a good point."

when my car comes into view, I grab the car key from my pocket and unlock the doors. we get inside with me behind the wheel and julian in the passenger seat.

"before we start driving, I gotta ask you," julian makes me pause from starting the car. I meet his eye contact and notice his suddenly serious expression. "are you doing okay?"

I process his question for a good minute. does he mean physically or emotionally? well, either way my answer is yes.

"I mean with the promise you made me," julian clarifies. my breathing constricts just a little bit now, which I don't know why that happens. this answer is simple.